Sanjay1023 1 / - Jan 7, 2014 #1Please review my essay! It comes to 298 words.Tell us about one interest or experience of yours that allows us to get to know you better as an individual. Please limit your response to approximately 300 words.When I switched schools after my eighth grade, I was not able to instantaneously gel with my new classmates. Everyone saw me as an outsider and hence I felt lonely, which was a new experience for me. As a result, my grades began to diminish during my ninth grade and this trend continued on in my tenth grade and hence I slacked off in school.After I received my tenth midyear reports, I was not very happy and analysed myself. All of a sudden, I remembered what my parents said when I was young. They said, after I was born the doctors examined me and said that my brain had already grown to be adult-like and that my thought processing and intellect would be above average. On reviewing myself, I realised that I had completely wasted this god gifted quality.Hence I began to study hard and burnt my midnight oil for my tenth grade final exams. Later, I was pleased to find out that I had passed my final exams with flying colours. I then chose the science stream in my eleventh grade to pursue electrical and electronics engineering later.I was able to carry the momentum from my tenth grade and was the class topper for the entire eleventh grade, obtaining outstanding results. As a result, I was presented with the proficiency award for being the most outstanding student of eleventh grade. After these experiences in my school, I realised that the quality that was missing in me prior to my tenth final exams was hard work.This circumstance in my life has helped me to realise the two important qualities needed for success, hard work and perseverance. These experiences also changed and transformed me from a slacker to an active and a hardworking person.
znack 7 / 31 5 Jan 9, 2014 #2I love your writing,especially your example with a doctor.However, to my mind your conclusion does not fit with this example,as your academic success was entirely depend on believing in yourself instead of hard working or perseverance.Therefore, I recommend to you change your conclusion because of the excellence of the example.Good luck
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592 Jan 19, 2014 #3Everyone saw me as an outsider and hence I felt lonely, which was a new experience for me.Everyone treated me as an outsider and I felt unwelcome and lonely, which was a new experience for me.As a result, my grades began to diminish during my ninth grade and this trend continued on in my tenth grade and hence I slacked off in school.As a result, both my interest in studies and grades began to decline and this situation continued until my tenth grade.After I received my tenth midyear reports, I was not very happy and analysed myself. All of a sudden, I remembered what my parents said when I was young.However, my tenth midyear report got me to ponder the reasons why I was not up to the mark. Then I remembered what my parents said when I was young.
