So I wrote this relatively fast, within about 2 hours, so I'm not entirely sure it is up to snuff. I'm thinking that I need to add something to the end to make it more conclusive, or maybe that I didn't answer the prompt too directly. Anyways, I'd appreciate any advice/ corrections/ criticisms you all have. I'm open to anything really.
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
Walking through the metal gates, I remember the smell that greeted me; it was pungent, stinging the nostrils and making my eyes water. It was hot and humid, and gathered in the covered enclosure were several families, each with at least two or three children. As I looked around, I saw tattered shorts, torn and dirty shirts, and bare feet. These families were directly called off the street, out of the cardboard boxes they called home, to come to us for help. My mother began speaking to them in Tagalog, the language of the Philippines. She, a year earlier, had formed Pusong Pinoy Forever, a nonprofit organization with the purpose of directly assisting street families. This year, I had decided to help with the effort. We began with introducing ourselves. Afterwards, the men, women, and children separated into their individual activities. Adults began work on projects to help them earn and save money, such as crafting small items and managing money. Children went to play and color. Throughout the week, I met many of the adults who had attended. As they shared their stories with me, I realized that these were people that not only needed aid, but also basic necessities of life. How much more these people, who live in one of the lowest levels of poverty, need help than homeless in the U.S.. I, along with volunteers from China and India, worked tirelessly throughout the week, beginning early in the morning and ending in the evening each day. I worked with adults, cared for children, cooked meals, and even played guitar and sang for the families. The children I met were not unlike my younger siblings, and I joked and played with them as if they were. I am proud not only of the hard work and long hours that we spent for the families, but the change that we made in their lives. Today the families run small businesses sponsored by Pusong Pinoy. I am proud to say that the work we did in the Philippines has bettered the lives of those families, and also that it has had a profound effect on me; I learned firsthand the value of service and responsibility, of which I am able to relate to. As the second oldest of seven children, I have set upon me a expectation of being responsible, and serving people both younger and older than I am. After traveling to the Philippines, I am now affirmed in my goal of becoming an orthopedic surgeon. This trip appealed to my sense of service, and the use of my gifts and privileges for the good of the less fortunate.
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
Walking through the metal gates, I remember the smell that greeted me; it was pungent, stinging the nostrils and making my eyes water. It was hot and humid, and gathered in the covered enclosure were several families, each with at least two or three children. As I looked around, I saw tattered shorts, torn and dirty shirts, and bare feet. These families were directly called off the street, out of the cardboard boxes they called home, to come to us for help. My mother began speaking to them in Tagalog, the language of the Philippines. She, a year earlier, had formed Pusong Pinoy Forever, a nonprofit organization with the purpose of directly assisting street families. This year, I had decided to help with the effort. We began with introducing ourselves. Afterwards, the men, women, and children separated into their individual activities. Adults began work on projects to help them earn and save money, such as crafting small items and managing money. Children went to play and color. Throughout the week, I met many of the adults who had attended. As they shared their stories with me, I realized that these were people that not only needed aid, but also basic necessities of life. How much more these people, who live in one of the lowest levels of poverty, need help than homeless in the U.S.. I, along with volunteers from China and India, worked tirelessly throughout the week, beginning early in the morning and ending in the evening each day. I worked with adults, cared for children, cooked meals, and even played guitar and sang for the families. The children I met were not unlike my younger siblings, and I joked and played with them as if they were. I am proud not only of the hard work and long hours that we spent for the families, but the change that we made in their lives. Today the families run small businesses sponsored by Pusong Pinoy. I am proud to say that the work we did in the Philippines has bettered the lives of those families, and also that it has had a profound effect on me; I learned firsthand the value of service and responsibility, of which I am able to relate to. As the second oldest of seven children, I have set upon me a expectation of being responsible, and serving people both younger and older than I am. After traveling to the Philippines, I am now affirmed in my goal of becoming an orthopedic surgeon. This trip appealed to my sense of service, and the use of my gifts and privileges for the good of the less fortunate.