Why Smith (virtue and knowledge).

Prompt:
How did you first learn of Smith College and why are you applying (100 words)

Hi, do you think the first version is not very specific? I feel that I can use this why-essay to apply for any women's college, so I add some specific programs in the second version. What do you think? And advices are welcomed!

"To virtue, to knowledge." Smith's motto reverberated in my mind. "Yes, this is where I am going, a place where the best education for women is provided, a place where my true potential can be awakened, a place where ideas will never end." At Smith, I want to pursue my love for engineering, but I also want to experience the beauty of art. Smith will provide me with personal attention, role models, intellectual discourse, and academic challenges. Smith College will serve as a stepping-stone in my life, leading me to make a difference in the world.( first version)

From a very young age, I have cherished and persued virtue and knowledge.That is why I found Smith, a place where social responsibility is greatly promoted, where best education for women is provided. I want to join in the Green Team, to folster sustainability at Smith. I want to pusue my love for science and challenge myself in the Picker Engineering Program, but I also want to experience the beauty of art in the Smith College Museum of Art. Providing me with personal attention,academic challenges,and successful role models, Smith College will serve as a stepping-stone, leading me to make a difference in the world. (second Version)

Please Help! Thanks!!!

Hi!
Well, the question starts with, "How did you first learn of Smith.." and you didn't answer that. If you say that in your quest to find the perfect college for you, Smith kept coming up as the one most fitting to your needs, then work in the specifics in your second example, this will be great.

Good luck at Smith, Northampton is a great college town with lots to do, great college atmosphere!

Hi there,

Nice essays!

I agree with Susan. I think Example 2 is stronger--Example 1 wastes your precious 100 words with what sounds like a quote from Smith's website. Furthermore, role models, intellectual discourse and academic challenges might be found at any institution. So then, why Smith?

The key in this essay is pinpointing the forces that drove you to specifically apply to Smith. I think your best bet here is to stick with Smith's commitment to social responsibility (why is this important to you? Is it linked to your goals as an engineer?), and how you'll be able to find a balance between engineering and liberal arts at Smith.

'Why are you applying' is a pretty broad question, but I think the subtext is 'why Smith.' So, just keep this essay specific--and make sure you make a good case for why this school is the right fit for you. In 100 words or less. It's a challenge, I know!!!

Cheers,
Janson