"The soccer field; I regained control over the ball" - Amherst supplement

could you give me any comments/critiques? thanks :)
if you comment on mine, ill comment on yours :)

promt:
"Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted."

I have always excelled at school and extracurricular activities, so my expectations are extremely high. I have always been the best in everything. During my exchange I started playing soccer for the [name of the soccer team]. They just finished their preparation for the season when I joined the team, while I hadn't played soccer for 2 years.

My first practice, all eyes were on my, the new German left midfielder. We were practicing offensive strategies and my position led me to make a lot of crosses. However, they never got where I wanted them to go. Besides, the other players were in a better shape than I was and I didn't have the power for a whole practice. I thought that I should quit, because I wasn't able to meet my high standards. Those thoughts grew even stronger on the next day, when literally ever part of my body hurt. Nevertheless, I didn't decide give up, because I felt if I would have given up on soccer that I would have given up on myself. So from now on I went to the soccer field everyday to practice with my host brother. We practiced when it had snowed and when it was 14°F 'warm' - weather shouldn't be an excuse for us to stop practicing. Thus, we practiced very hard and every time we were sweating like the Niagara Falls.

Through my practice with my host brother I regained control over the ball and soon my old skills were back. Thus, I got a spot on the team. Eventually, during our last game of the season I was able to score and we won the game 1:0. This victory was the sweetest reward I could have gotten and this was made even sweeter by the obstacles I had to surmount.

I think the introduction needs to be catchier. The kind of stuff you're saying sounds like you're boasting and they can read about your ECs and grades on your application. Perhaps you could put the reader on the soccer field, paint a picture in his/her mind.

The sentence, "However, they never got where I wanted them to go." doesn't read right with me. "They" is a vague pronoun. Who/what are they? I am not sure.

"Nevertheless I didn't decide to give up,"

I don't know if this makes sense, but I think you should try to make your essay more unique. The message that you're conveying just seems like hard work and determination pays off and we've all heard that before.