This is the beginning of my essay. I am pretty confused about how I want to organize my thoughts and especially how I will connect my talents and abilites to benefit rutgers and how will I benefit from going to rutgers.
Please be as critical as you want :)
Does the essay flow well? any other suggestions? grammar?
Rutgers Prompt:
Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.
"Your son is itching to gain all the knowledge in the world. Remember that, "said my religious guru, to my parents when I was just 4 years of age. I have always been an active individual who looks forward to go through challenges and help other people in theirs. This trait has helped me immerse myself to help people of all age, race, and religion without any second thoughts and find what I want to do in my life. Therefore, a dynamic institution, such as Rutgers will allow me to challenge myself in many aspects of life and also permit me to help others do the same.
Out of the 17 years of my existence in this world, I lived in India for 13 years and have gained tremendous amount of knowledge about my culture as well other cultures and learned to appreciate them. After moving to United States, I was given a tremendous opportunity to explore the diversity in this country. Over the years, I have grown to accept and tolerate the customs of individuals who are not necessarily the same as I am and I believe that the growth of my mind will benefit Rutgers and make it a more welcoming place for people of different backgrounds and also help me become a more responsible citizen in the society.
Please be as critical as you want :)
Does the essay flow well? any other suggestions? grammar?
Rutgers Prompt:
Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.
"Your son is itching to gain all the knowledge in the world. Remember that, "said my religious guru, to my parents when I was just 4 years of age. I have always been an active individual who looks forward to go through challenges and help other people in theirs. This trait has helped me immerse myself to help people of all age, race, and religion without any second thoughts and find what I want to do in my life. Therefore, a dynamic institution, such as Rutgers will allow me to challenge myself in many aspects of life and also permit me to help others do the same.
Out of the 17 years of my existence in this world, I lived in India for 13 years and have gained tremendous amount of knowledge about my culture as well other cultures and learned to appreciate them. After moving to United States, I was given a tremendous opportunity to explore the diversity in this country. Over the years, I have grown to accept and tolerate the customs of individuals who are not necessarily the same as I am and I believe that the growth of my mind will benefit Rutgers and make it a more welcoming place for people of different backgrounds and also help me become a more responsible citizen in the society.