SOP for Research Internship (machine learning project)

Please give me feedback on how to improve my SOP since this is my first time writing one. This has been written for a research internship where i intend to do a machine learning project.

Statement Of Purpose:

My first exposure to artificial intelligence was when I read an article about the Turing test and further went on to read about Serb's Chinese Room argument, which got me excited about this topic.

My interest grew further when I took up an online course on machine learning in the break, before joining college. Due to my strong interest in math since school days, I found it easy to pick up the mathematical basics of machine learning.

On joining college, I decided to experiment with my new found interest and did a course on computer vision called Machine vision and its applications (normally offered to the MTech students), where I was highly lauded for being the youngest (still in my first year), sitting among those senior students, including some doing their PhD.

I really enjoyed the course, especially the project (which was about classifying sea shells into 5 categories using texture analysis methods) and decided to explore the field of computer vision further.

I was so fascinated by what I had learnt in this course that I made few innovations in my project that I was doing at my internship at the end of first year.

It dealt with pattern matching in time series data - I explored the usual time and frequency domain measures. But I additionally analyzed the similarity between sequences, with the help of the spectrogram images, using the techniques I had learnt in the computer vision course.

I possess strong programming skills in python with experience in machine learning and deep learning libraries such as numpy, pandas, sklearn, PyTorch.

I did two projects in the technical clubs of my college - autonomous car and hate speech detection.
With every project and course that I have undertaken so far, my interest and liking continued to grow in this domain.
In the future, I want to become a machine learning scientist and bring in new and revolutionary algorithms in this field.
I recently did a probability and statistics and stochastic processes course and enjoyed it thoroughly, and would like to explore it further in the context of machine learning.

I am currently doing an internship, where I am working on drawing inferences about each object in an image. The task is to do multi-label classification for each of the dustbins present in an image. Alongside, I am also working on using neural networks to replace mathematical models, guided by Prof. Karthik Raman of IIT-M.

These projects have further helped me deepen my interest in neural network mechanisms, as applied to computer vision.

Through this research internship, I would explore my passion for this field further, as well as acquire new skills required to enroll in a masters or PhD program and pursue my dream career in this field.

The essay is too informal in presentation. Since you are writing an academic essay, you have to avoid placing any information in parenthesis. The parenthesis presentation makes the essay highly disconnected in paragraph and information presentation. You are writing this with such an informal tone that you have failed to present yourself as a strong academic and experience based candidate. Try to write a new essay. One that uses an academic tone, has a formal presentation, and connects the sentences and paragraphs with the use of transition phrases / sentences. Right now, your essay is jumping around without a clear line of presentation. You have to make sure that you develop a new essay. That will be easier than trying to edit the tone and content of this essay.