Common Application Essay Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?
(I plan on revising parts of this essay further, but I could really use some help detecting errors/constructive criticism. Thanks!)
The lecture is the same every year. We hear the crackle of the intercom, then a faculty member's voice calling all high school girls to the auditorium. With muffled whispers and gazes radiating annoyance, we all push through to a dimly lit auditorium lined with a stone wall interior ironically reminiscent of an ancient castle's. We take our seats and face our attention to the two faculty members on stage. During this lecture, they give us a specific dress code for dances: anything that does not cover the "Five B's"-back, bra strap, breasts, bottom, and belly -is not allowed. These restrictions become so ingrained in our memories we can list them immediately upon being asked, uncomfortably evocative of brainwashing. And, more importantly, we are told to behave appropriately. As a freshman and sophomore, I listened intently with the rest of my classmates. I did not realize the hypocrisy of this lecture until my junior year, when the faculty members asked, "Any questions?" and a senior responded, "Why are we being told to act appropriately, but the boys are not?" They replied, "Oh, you know how it is. Boys will be boys." That four-word phrase triggered something inside me-a combination of confusion and anger.
I am from the epitome of southern suburbia, from "bless your heart"s and country music blasting from the muddy pickup truck. Sometimes I do not think I fully fit in: I am a vegetarian drowning in a sea of steakhouses and barbecue joints; you will find me performing at a local open-mic night rather than sitting on a tailgate at a country concert. Since I am not your typical "southern belle", I have a different perspective on my community's quirks. For instance, alongside the perpetuation of chivalry, I have witnessed the ironic perpetuation of misogyny. Men may insist on holding doors or heavy boxes, but it is often women who carry the blame for male-initiated harassment. This victim shaming is furthered through my school's ancient attempts to prevent inappropriate behavior. That is, until I brought the "Five B's Lecture" to the school board's attention and offered a solution. My school's lecture is not only ineffective on a local scale- it allows men to get away with initiating inappropriate behavior-but also has larger implications; this improper education continues aspects of rape culture such as victim shaming. Rather than just teach women to dress appropriately to avoid harassment, we should stop the harassment at its source: men's behavior.
I am not usually one to refrain from expressing my opinion on an issue-whether it is through impulsively joining a protest against Monsanto or simply reminding someone that "gay" is not an insult. However, initially, I was more reserved about discussing this issue; I thought I was the only person incensed. It was not until I discovered many of my classmates felt the same way that I scheduled a meeting with the chairman of the school board. I was afraid that, as a male, he would not understand the larger significance of the girls-only lecture; most of the male classmates I discussed the issue with said they did not need a talk because they could not expose their bra straps in a three-piece suit. However, he listened with an appalled expression and thanked me for enlightening him on the issue. He said he would present the issue to the board, but that they may ask me to present my perspective on the problem.
I do not yet know if a men's lecture will accompany the "Five B's Lecture" in subsequent years. However, I have provided a voice for my female classmates and know that if I have not brought change, I have at least brought awareness-the primary catalyst for change. I hope that if I leave any legacy at my high school, it is that boys will be soon rolling their eyes alongside the girls as they make their way to that dreaded auditorium.
(I plan on revising parts of this essay further, but I could really use some help detecting errors/constructive criticism. Thanks!)
The lecture is the same every year. We hear the crackle of the intercom, then a faculty member's voice calling all high school girls to the auditorium. With muffled whispers and gazes radiating annoyance, we all push through to a dimly lit auditorium lined with a stone wall interior ironically reminiscent of an ancient castle's. We take our seats and face our attention to the two faculty members on stage. During this lecture, they give us a specific dress code for dances: anything that does not cover the "Five B's"-back, bra strap, breasts, bottom, and belly -is not allowed. These restrictions become so ingrained in our memories we can list them immediately upon being asked, uncomfortably evocative of brainwashing. And, more importantly, we are told to behave appropriately. As a freshman and sophomore, I listened intently with the rest of my classmates. I did not realize the hypocrisy of this lecture until my junior year, when the faculty members asked, "Any questions?" and a senior responded, "Why are we being told to act appropriately, but the boys are not?" They replied, "Oh, you know how it is. Boys will be boys." That four-word phrase triggered something inside me-a combination of confusion and anger.
I am from the epitome of southern suburbia, from "bless your heart"s and country music blasting from the muddy pickup truck. Sometimes I do not think I fully fit in: I am a vegetarian drowning in a sea of steakhouses and barbecue joints; you will find me performing at a local open-mic night rather than sitting on a tailgate at a country concert. Since I am not your typical "southern belle", I have a different perspective on my community's quirks. For instance, alongside the perpetuation of chivalry, I have witnessed the ironic perpetuation of misogyny. Men may insist on holding doors or heavy boxes, but it is often women who carry the blame for male-initiated harassment. This victim shaming is furthered through my school's ancient attempts to prevent inappropriate behavior. That is, until I brought the "Five B's Lecture" to the school board's attention and offered a solution. My school's lecture is not only ineffective on a local scale- it allows men to get away with initiating inappropriate behavior-but also has larger implications; this improper education continues aspects of rape culture such as victim shaming. Rather than just teach women to dress appropriately to avoid harassment, we should stop the harassment at its source: men's behavior.
I am not usually one to refrain from expressing my opinion on an issue-whether it is through impulsively joining a protest against Monsanto or simply reminding someone that "gay" is not an insult. However, initially, I was more reserved about discussing this issue; I thought I was the only person incensed. It was not until I discovered many of my classmates felt the same way that I scheduled a meeting with the chairman of the school board. I was afraid that, as a male, he would not understand the larger significance of the girls-only lecture; most of the male classmates I discussed the issue with said they did not need a talk because they could not expose their bra straps in a three-piece suit. However, he listened with an appalled expression and thanked me for enlightening him on the issue. He said he would present the issue to the board, but that they may ask me to present my perspective on the problem.
I do not yet know if a men's lecture will accompany the "Five B's Lecture" in subsequent years. However, I have provided a voice for my female classmates and know that if I have not brought change, I have at least brought awareness-the primary catalyst for change. I hope that if I leave any legacy at my high school, it is that boys will be soon rolling their eyes alongside the girls as they make their way to that dreaded auditorium.
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