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'Spanish for Native Speakers class' - Umich admission essay cultural difference



10romo 2 / 3  
Sep 27, 2009   #1
I would appreciate any feedback thank you

"We know that diversity makes us a better university -- better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)
Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

When I first walked in to my Spanish for Native Speakers class freshman year, I knew that I was going to fit in. I had never been in a class where all of the students were like me, of Latino descent. My misconception was that they were all Mexican because most of the Latino students I knew were Mexican including myself. I was surprised to find out how diverse the class was. There were students whose ethnicities varied from Guatemalan, Ecuadorian, Peruvian, Puerto Rican, and Spanish.

Throughout that year I learned their cultures from the type of foods they ate, to the different celebrations they had. I could not believe how different each culture was. For example beans are called frijoles in Mexico, gandules in Puerto Rico, and abichuelas in Peru. Even the way the Spanish is spoken varies from country to country. I always thought the cultural differences between Latin countries were minimal. I learned even more about the Guatemalan culture from a foreign exchange student in my class, Edgar. He taught me about their independence from Spain and his love for arroz Guatemalteco. I became so much more educated on other Latin races.

Since taking this class freshman year I have moved on to taking Honors Spanish, AP Spanish Language, and am currently taking AP Spanish Literature. All of these classes have given me the benefit of learning about other extraordinary Latin cultures. As a Mexican-American myself and with the knowledge I have gained through these courses, I know that I can bring diversity to the University of Michigan.

Llamapoop123 7 / 433  
Sep 27, 2009   #2
For example beans are called frijoles in Mexico, gandules in Puerto Rico, and abichuelas in Peru.

^This doesn't really show how different each culture is.

I believe that your essay would be stronger if you showed more in depth examples of how your stereotypes were broken since the lone fact that different countries had different names for foods doesn't seem like enough.
MsSsSs 3 / 7  
Sep 28, 2009   #3
You have a lot of misplaced commas and extra words that makes the essay distracting.

Throughout that year I learned their cultures from the type of foods they ate, to the different celebrations they had.

Throughout that year, I learned their cultures from the type of foods they ate to the different celebrations they had.

For example beans are called frijoles in Mexico, gandules in Puerto Rico, and abichuelas in Peru.

For example, beans are called frijoles in Mexico, gandules in Puerto Rico, and abichuelas in Peru.

Even the way the Spanish is spoken varies from country to country.

Even the way Spanish is spoken varies from country to country.

Also, try to avoid passive voice.
OP 10romo 2 / 3  
Sep 28, 2009   #4
okay thanks


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