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(spend money wisely) + (small village diversity) +(friend from school) NYU Supplement



thkern 4 / 16  
Jan 1, 2011   #1
1. Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.

My mother has always told me to spend my money wisely.As I grew up I developed the ability to value money and, unlike many other people, I didn't waste my money on unnecessary or useless products.Another reason for choosing my anticipated academic area is the JUNIOR program and my own business.

I've chosen the College of Arts and Science, because of its outstanding academic programs, the wealth of opportunities on campus, the beautiful setting, and the great people teaching and studying at NYU.

2. NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

I live in a small village called Bretzingen where diversity is a foreign word. My desire of meeting a diversity of people from different countries rose during the last few years. I want to learn from their unique perspective.

In my opinion, the experience of diversity is a great way to overcome old prejudices and it is highly entertaining. Through globalization, we have to have an understanding of other cultures. What could be a better way of experiencing another culture while sharing your own?

3. If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

I would bring my best friend from elementary school to his backyard. We would share old memories and we would dig our time capsule out which we buried over 10 years ago. Furthermore, we would finish our LEGO castle and our LEGO fire department. Our very close relationship developed throughout elementary school. His backyard was a place where I learned to really care about someone outside of my family.

comments?
improvement?
I'll comment on your essay if you comment on mine ;)

lqi3034 - / 2  
Jan 1, 2011   #2
I noticed that some of your responses don't really answer the question.

What interests you most about your intended discipline?

The first question isn't asking about why you want to go to NYU but most of your answer seems to focus on that. Try to talk more around your interests in business.

How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

This is where you can talk about NYU. Maybe you can talk about how the diversity in New York will help you to build international relationships at NYU and in business.

The last response is okay. It's a bit generic and doesn't really say alot about you though. Maybe another sentence about why you chose your friend/the effect he had on you.

I hope that this helped, good luck on your application :)
OP thkern 4 / 16  
Jan 1, 2011   #3
@Zoidberg93: You commented on my first draft not on my current draft, but thanks anyway.

could someone please help me how to improve especially the last sentence of my second answer? ('personal as well as business')
issallme5 2 / 35  
Jan 1, 2011   #4
Your answer is very very similar to mine. especially the part about me loving someone beyond my family and the backyard and digging out the treasure box. Could you change yours a bit? I already submitted mine, but the admissions officers might think you copied. I posted mine days before but yours is almost exactly the same.

If you could could you please change yours a bit so that the admission officers don't think there's copying?
OP thkern 4 / 16  
Jan 1, 2011   #5
no I didn't copy from you. I haven't read yours...well I just read it, but I didn't read it before.
issallme5 2 / 35  
Jan 1, 2011   #6
Do you think you could reword the part where you learned to love someone beyond your family part? because that's exactly the same as mine and it makes me a bit iffy.
OP thkern 4 / 16  
Jan 1, 2011   #7
I'll do so as soon as I got time.

could anybody critique on my answers?
issallme5 2 / 35  
Jan 1, 2011   #8
sorry and thank you.
issallme5 2 / 35  
Jan 1, 2011   #9
Hi..sorry..did you fix yours??? could you edit the last sentence please??!!! YOUR LAST SENTENCE IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS MINE WORD FOR WORD...i don't want it to cause problems later on.
issallme5 2 / 35  
Jan 1, 2011   #10
"I learned to love someone outside my family" is still the same as mine.
what about "At Lukas' backyard, I started to love someone other than my family" ?

but sorry, i didn't mean to freak out, but you wrote something so similar to mine, so it was hard not to. , but sorry really. didn't mean to get on your nerves..

and i didn't mean to annoy you with all the posting, I just completely panicked.
OP thkern 4 / 16  
Jan 1, 2011   #11
At Lukas' backyard, I started to love someone other than my family"

with your permission I'm going to copy this to my essay

how about some constructive critiques
amjeezy 5 / 17  
Jan 1, 2011   #12
I really enjoyed your short replies! they are ready to send in my opinion however for the last question you are allowed to be creative.

I wrote mine on taking homer simpson to congress. look at these replies and supplement responses given by people who have gotten into NYU.

nyulocal.com/on-campus/2010/12/06/the-right-answers-to-nyus-common-app-supplement/
issallme5 2 / 35  
Jan 1, 2011   #13
yea sure!

and for the second one you should make it all future tense or all past tense.
so you might want to change the first sentence live to lived. But other than that this is ready to go.

hope this helped


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