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Stanford Essay: Describe Yourself Walks!



schmevie 6 / 13  
Dec 26, 2009   #1
Catalina Island is small enough to where everything is five minutes away. So, I walk everywhere. On my walks I not only get to see a gorgeous backdrop but I also catch a glimpse of who I am.

I start off at my house, say hello to my neighbor and laugh when he asks me if I need any golf balls (he knows I'm not very good.) I open the door for his wife and I set off. I'm walking to school today and ill get you there in five minutes. As I'm walking on the curb I begin to think. My walks are where most of my thinking occurs. Questions like is there life on other planets? , Are people born good or evil? , Or how can I make a paper airplane with the maximum flight distance are all encountered. I stand at the crosswalk where my patience tests me. Rows upon rows of bicycles mounted by seven year olds zip past me on as they race towards school. I could easily cross and make them wait but I stop exchange smiles and join them in our race to school.

I continue along the sidewalk and hum Can't Buy me Love by The Beatles. I try to do the headshake they're known for but only manage to make a classmate behind me laugh. I look to the left and see the golf course. The sunshine hits the dewdrops on the grass and the first hole glistens like jellyfish in the ocean. I stare at a palm tree and attempt to count how many leaves there are. I squint my eyes and concentrate as if though I'm taking a test and count aloud "six, seven, ouch!" I accidentally bumped into a friend. We laugh and realize that we're going to be late. Punctuality is very important to me. I ask him if he wants to race. He accepts and we zoom off,

We continue until we reach school where we split. I enter my classroom and begin helping my class by tutoring them in Geometry. My mind feels relaxed and I can remember all my formulas with ease. My walk has ended. Five minutes, that's all it took, I think in five minutes you can get to know anybody. You just need to pay attention to detail, like a painting. At first glance you might be able to make a quick judgment that may not be very accurate but after close scrutinization you can know and enjoy everything about anyone.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 1, 2010   #2
On my walks I not only get to see a gorgeous backdrop, and I also catch a glimpse of who I am. ----> the "not only but also" kind of sentence is so common in these essays; let's not start with one. I like it this way, with "and." I hope you do, too!

:-)

Put the name of this song in " " marks. On my walks I not only get to see a gorgeous backdrop but I also catch a glimpse of who I am.

I accidentally bump into a friend. We laugh and realize that we're going to be late. Punctuality is very important to me. I ask him if he wants to race. He accepts, and we...


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