Stanford engaging idea: patient capitalism

Jacqueline Novogratz, found of the Acumen Fund, describes patient capital as a third way to think about aid. The happy medium between investment and philanthropy, it offers a promising means to assist the struggling poor and address the disparity that occurs where the market has failed. A risk tolerant investment with the goal of maximizing social benefit, patient capital engages my interests in both economics and humanitarianism.

Working on social projects in my community leads me to consider how humanitarian issues such as hunger and poverty might be addressed on a global scale. Furthermore, I'm captivated by the process of shifting the focus from alleviating the need to creating sustainable change in a way that respects the time and energy required to make that change. Starting a business in a poor market is an arduous process; I agree with the theory that patient capital investment provides solid groundwork needed for it to thrive. A philanthropic effort coupled with an economic approach, it respects the dignity of societies by using the market to provide motivation and incentive to hone and refine needed products.

By investing in entrepreneurs over the long haul, patient capital provides and opportunity for these individuals to create a stable product that can withstand the test of the market. From the sunflower fields in Sudan to the solar power plants in Ethiopia, these long term investments allow innovation to flourish. Patient capital presents an exciting way to solve poverty by fostering a global community of entrepreneurs. Passionate about addressing the concerns of society, I believe the model of patient capital offers a potential solution to support the world's most destitute citizens

This is definitely engaging , I do not see any problems with this idea, your points are expressed clearly and you bring up your opinion very well. *two thumbs up* and thanks for looking at my essay =)

*founder instead of found (or am i misreading it?)

that occurs where the market has failed
*when instead of where

provides and opportunity
*an opportunity

Passionate about addressing the concerns of society, I believe the model of patient capital offers a potential solution to support the world's most destitute citizens

(show not tell)

I think overall you provide a very compelling argument and the admission officers will clearly see a very intelligent individual. However, two things I would suggest is 1) perhaps make it more personal and 2) use your own vocabulary! I feel like some of the words are there to impress and you use it well, but I would recommend toning down on the vocab. Otherwise, great piece!