stanford roommate essay- debating and the outdoors

i know its a little over the character limit. 2066. but i cant pick what to cut out. this is just a first draft so feel free to be harsh.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Hello future roommate,
I've spent forever waiting for college, trying to picture what life on my own will be like. Now before I get carried away talking about how amazing college is going to be, I want you tell you a little about me as a person. I often strike people as shy and quiet, maybe even boring. I'm selective with picking my friends, but if you end up being one of them you will get to see a different side of me altogether. It is that side of me that I'm going to try and introduce to you through this letter.

I'm a Taurus- a true bull. Though calm and composed on the outside, I'm determined and stubborn with a raging temper that may surface on rare occasions. I love arguing, taking great pride in my debating skills. That coupled with my stubborn nature and innate aggressiveness when defending my beliefs means that often even my teachers fear opposing me. As of today there exists only one thing capable of luring me away from an interesting debate- good food. My voracious appetite often gives my mom nightmares. My culinary skills, however, are dismal. Even a simple omelette is beyond my capabilities and I vow to change that before college.

I'm an outdoor person. Don't get me wrong, I can pass the entire day playing Halo on X-Box or watching television or even sleeping but I end up feeling lifeless. Sitting within the confines of the house drains me of my energy. An hour of soccer or tennis, or a minute underwater changes that. I have often wondered if maybe I'm secretly a son of Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea. I have this ability to dive into the pool, drift along the bottom lost in thought, coming up good as new just as people begin worrying I'm dead.

I also procrastinate. A lot! But once I set my mind to something I ensure it gets done. I'm a perfectionist. I never compromise on quality. I rarely ever show signs of pressure on the outside, something that often seems to worry my parents.

That's about all I can cover for now. I'm sure over the next four years you will see a lot more to me that just the contents of this letter.

looks good. you say lot about urslf without shying away from ur defects which gives the letter a sense of honesty. although i think focussing on one specal quality of urs will do this paper much good and i believe is what the question is asking. anyway its ur choice.

thanks. i'll try that and see how it works and then decide whether to stick with this or not

hi!
You wrote a good one!!! i am kind of freaking out over this one.

here are some points that i feel you may want to change or so


shy and quiet are ok, how about paraphrase boring to sth like "Sheldon-ish" (the big bang theory man remember?)


how about engaging your roommate here a bit1? say sth like "you wouldn't be suffering blah blah.."


here you may also engage your roommate a bit, like "i can teach you to do so blah blah... it is great fun ..."

the final concluding sentence could have been better if you ask a question or two, the topics that you have covered and you also want to find out from your roommate

i really want to engage the reader more but i've exceeded the character limit already. any suggestions on where i can cut down?

I would cut down on the opening few sentences talking about what you expect college life to be like. Dive right into the topic and engage your roommate a little more. Other than that looks good.