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This is my personal statement prompt 1; My grandfather Lee



kaitong 1 / 1  
May 20, 2014   #1
Although six years have passed, I still remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was just a young student attending a junior high school in China the first time I saw grandfather Lee. Skinny, humped, and with his blind eyes closed, he sat squatting in the doorstep head down and not saying a word. After ten minutes, he just said, "My house is small, doesn't sit many people, and has nothing to entertain you."

Because the house was dark, I wanted to pull the lamp, but could not find the cable.Then I realized that the house did not have a lamp because grandfather Lee didn't need one. He had been blind for many years. Suddenly, I had a clear vision of what it meant to be "distressed."

This is grandfather Lee. An elderly man now the focus of the third batch of junior high school students. I am just one of fifty who has been assigned to take care of him.

Seniors have told us, since the beginning of 1999, that the students in our school began a spontaneous organization to take care of grandfather Lee. Since then, every batch of seventh grade students who started here have taken on this responsibility, then passing this honor to new students before graduating from school. It has been over nine years now. The total number of students as many as five hundred.

Elderly man told us that nine years ago, he hasn't feeling longely because there are more than 500 pieces of warm heart to accompany him. Our arrival brought a lot of joy to him. In fact, for us, his dependence and like makes us satisfaction,too.Maybe, this is a "need"and "needed" happiness.

Don't know why, every time go to see elderly man, almost always rains. Thus, there classmate joked:"It seems that even god touched.!"

Before coming to the US, I took next session take care grandfather Lee stuedents to his home and know him.When Elderly man know I need to leave China, and this session student graduate high school, his eye socket became red. He had hard time to talked to me:"you have grown up and sensible. Study well hard and make progress everday and didn't let father worry about you."Maybe, elderly man always uses identity of the father to feel our love.

In fact, more than 500 names,Elderly man not able to remember all the names, and each time will have a new face appears. But more than 500 people, for him, the meaning is special. It is not a number, it is warm, happiness, and love.

From 1999 to 2008, nine years. But I believe will be have more of nine years.I really hope when i go to the college, I can go back China to visit grandfather Lee. I still remember,elderly Lee can once to say:" I not have any children, but my children more than anyone. I believe ,there will be have more and more 500 kindness hearts , and more and more goodness name appears in the grandfather Lee's life.

dumi 1 / 6800  
May 20, 2014   #2
It is good if we see the prompt. Why didn't you include it in this thread? If you post the prompt you would get more meaningful feedbacks.

Let me do some editing for you;
"My house is small, doesn't sitcannot occupy many people, and hasthere's nothing to entertain you."

This is grandfather Lee. An elderly man now the focus of the third batch of junior high school students. I am just one of fifty who has been assigned to take care of him.

... It is good if you tell the background of this project at this point to avoid reader's confusion.
This is grandfather Lee who is being looked after by a junior high school program since 1999. I was just one of fifty who has been assigned to take care of him.
niesaysi 16 / 281  
May 20, 2014   #3
Seniors have told us, since the beginning of 1999, that the students in our school began a spontaneous organization to take care of grandfather Lee. No need to put commas.

Elderly man told us that nine years ago, he hasn't feelingwas notlongelylonely because there arewere more than 500 pieces of warm hearts to accompany him.

In fact, for us, his dependence and the like makes us satisfactionsatisfied ,too.

Don't know why, every time go to see elderly man, almost always rains.

Wrong grammar. Please observe and think what you are trying to say here

But I believe Iwillwould be have more of nine years.

I really hope when iIgo to thestudy college, I can go back to China to visit grandfather Lee.
OP kaitong 1 / 1  
May 20, 2014   #4
Nobody know, every time we go to see elderly man almost rains.Thus, there classmate joked:"It seems that even god touched.!"
Is it ok?
Pahan 1 / 1825  
May 20, 2014   #5
Elderly man told us that nine years ago, he hasn'twasn't feeling longelylonely because there arewere more than 500 pieces of warm hearts to accompany him. Our arrival brought a lot of joy to him. In fact, for us, his dependence and likegratitude mademakes us satisfactionextremely pleased ,too.


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