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Statement of Intent (Loyola Marymount University Application, Fall 2019)

Jean145 3 / 5  
Jan 15, 2019   #1
Statement of intent: Please briefly state your reason for wishing to attend LMU and how you came to choose your academic program.
(The Common App only allows up to 750 characters in the answer space)

reasons for wishing to attend LMU

As an ambitious film student looking to broaden my horizons and refine my craft, I have chosen LMU not just for its dedication to providing experiential education, a Jesuit value that encourages students to apply knowledge they have learnt in the lecture hall to real-life scenarios which helps to redefine their learning experiences, but also for its diverse and open-minded community.

Although filmmaking was something I constantly did at a young age, I initially never planned to pursue it as a career. However, I rediscovered my passion for film and decided to seriously commit to the medium. By attending LMU, I aim to push creative boundaries and produce films that make audiences think beneath the surface, opening the door to new ideas.

Any feedback would be appreciated!
ZoldyckUSA 3 / 5 2  
Jan 15, 2019   #2
Just my opinion.

You'll observe that if you switch the wordsLMU with MIT, or Cal, or any other university and the word Jesuit with any other trait/religion, it makes zero difference and you could send this toANY film program in the world. In other words, this essay doesn't really establish an unique reason for you to attend LMU. (Even tho I understand LMU is Jesuit)

In your second paragraph you refer to film making as a childhood hobby of sorts; that's fine, but there's no point in mentioning it if you don't show WHY/HOW you came to do it as a hobby(eg. a film fascinated you/your relative is in the film business/ your parent got you a cam and you started experimenting w/ it and ended up making amazing films,etc.)

The same goes for what made you 'rediscover' your passion. What event/realization made you consider it professionally as a career that you previously did not think of? Scrap the generic stuff that eat up space; honestly I hate character limits as they don't let me use good vocab at times.
charleto9 - / 4  
Jan 16, 2019   #3
My opinion.

I feel like this piece is well written but I didn't read anything that would POP out to the reviewer.I feel like the statements you made for your reasons for wanting to attend LMU are very underdeveloped. Nothing is said that makes LMU seem unique, it seems very replaceable in your words. Remember the point of this essay is to show why LMU is the school for you. Character limit could be a big factor in the underdevelopment which is understandable, but do your best to leave no page unturned.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Jan 16, 2019   #4
Jean, Loyola being a Catholic university, requires you to slant your response statement in a religious manner. Think about your personal religious beliefs and how these beliefs will help you better adapt to the Jesuit student community, where a shared religious belief exists. As for academics, focus on a particular course. I suggest Film, Television, and Media Studies. You can get more information about the course from their website. Use that information to create an academic goal, based specifically on the offerings of the university, in relation to your professional goals after your undergraduate studies. Why do you think this program is the best for you to major/minor in at this point? Forget the current content of your essay. You have to prove that you have truly familiarized yourself with the university, its religious background, and the School of Film and Television. The essay you wrote is, as you seem to be prone to, always nice to read, but lacking in relevant content.

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