I am applying to George Mason and I need help with my personal statement. I know what I want to say but I think my organization is a bit off. And my closing sentence is awful. Thank you
"When I moved to Maryland from Puerto Rico was complicated, the cultural clash was prevalent and having to learn a new language was the first challenge I faced. Moving to Maryland I noticed what I wanted to do with my life, go to college. I soon noticed that to achieve my goals I had to challenge myself for a second time and do better in the classroom. I decided to approach this situation by adding AP classes, an unknown class in Puerto Rico, and began participating in school. Living and leaving Puerto Rico made me realize the amount of opportunities available to be. The transition from Puerto Rico to Maryland was challenging but a learning experience. Challenges are a prevalent element in my life, and I want it to stay that way. I am positive that by being a Patriot I will continue to face these challenges"
"When I moved to Maryland from Puerto Rico was complicated, the cultural clash was prevalent and having to learn a new language was the first challenge I faced. Moving to Maryland I noticed what I wanted to do with my life, go to college. I soon noticed that to achieve my goals I had to challenge myself for a second time and do better in the classroom. I decided to approach this situation by adding AP classes, an unknown class in Puerto Rico, and began participating in school. Living and leaving Puerto Rico made me realize the amount of opportunities available to be. The transition from Puerto Rico to Maryland was challenging but a learning experience. Challenges are a prevalent element in my life, and I want it to stay that way. I am positive that by being a Patriot I will continue to face these challenges"