This is my common app essay that I have just written. Can I get some opinions on whether it's a decent length and if it answers the prompt well?
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
As I sit here typing this essay, I cannot help thinking about the opportunities I have had. Going from high school to college is a gigantic leap for me, something that no one in my family has done so far. Then, I begin to ponder even more. I have only been presented with these opportunities because of one person. Before, I was stuck in the boondocks with nowhere to go and nothing to broaden the horizon of my thought. Because of one man, I have been able to travel the world, experiencing more aspects of the world than ever, while living life with a purpose.
My stepfather is a soldier in the United States Army. He is one of those people who fight for the freedom to do as we please in the land of the free and the home of the brave. You may not think about the impact that an American soldier has had on your life, but the truth is, they have had a gigantic impact, whether you know it or not. For me, the effect does not stop with the American lifestyle, but it continues to the house and home. When my step-father joined the military, I had no idea what would happen. Oh, what little did I know of the joys and heartbreak that come with the prospect of freedom! I was presented a chance to leave small-town America to see, and feel, what the world was really like. Since his decision about three years ago, I have been living in Germany and have traveled to Spain, France, Greece, and even Luxembourg! Not many Americans can say that they have visited countries in Europe, much less lived there. Because of this amazing chance to experience the world, I have been able to live free of the restraints of small-town Texas. I can open my mind to new cultures and make more educated decisions. I have even discovered that I love to try new things in every country we visit. I have fallen in love with Europe and how different it is from the United States.
The situations I lived through in Texas were incredible frightening, at times. There were days when I thought about things that a kid should not have to think about such as where our next meal was coming from. I refused to have any of my friends from school visit, in fear that they would not accept me, because we lived in a trailer house. Churches were a haven for clothing, as we did not have enough funds to buy our own. Once my step-father was sworn in, we were able to have the financial security to take care of even the basic necessities. Without the safety we have now, I don't think I could have handled choices like going to college. Whatever the case may have been, I am extremely thankful for what we have now. I know what it is like to not have anything at all, and it is not something I wish upon anyone. Because of my step-father, I no longer need to worry about anything, and I can focus on making my future the best it can be.
At first, I did not know who to write about. It is strange how writing this essay has made me think of all the opportunities I have been presented with in the past two years. Now I know, without my step-father, I would not have been able to live in such an amazing, foreign place without wondering whether we would be packing up and moving the next day. I would not have been able to come to a great high school and prepare for college. I would not have been able to mature into the person I am today. Now, I have one thing left to do: go to college and make something of myself. Dankeschön, step-father, for the opportunities you have presented to me and for all of your support as I take the next steps in life.
DELETE ALL THIS: At first, I did not know who to write about. It is strange how writing this essay has made me think of all the opportunities I have been presented with in the past two years.
Colleges don't care whether or not you didn't know what to write about. No one knows what to write about. In fact, you should have thought of your step dad immediately if he's really that important. CHANGE YOUR INTRO. Just say that you've had great opportunities. DELETE THE "he is one of those people who fight for the freedom...". Colleges want to know about you not your step dad. The fact that hes doing all that is obvious as soon as you say that hes a soldier. Talk more about his effect on your life than anything else.
