A minute is left until the bell rings to dismiss the class. I lay my eyes on the paper, staring unsympathetically as it lies still defensively. My hands make an attempt to flip the paper around but my ego wouldn't let me. The bell rings, my hands comes out from my hoodie pockets, and flips the paper half way around to verify the grade. So disappointed in myself I wait till the room is empty and walk towards the door to leave. Before I step out, I turn to look at my teacher. "Mrs. Steward always wanted the best for me," I thought. She would remind me this every time after requesting me to stay 20miuntes after class. So she can help me with anything that I may need help with. But I always turned her down. My mentality on school was hurting me just the same way my grades were. The look on her face made me feel valuable so, I turned around, unwrinkled the test, and placed the test on her desk. A smile grew on her face addressing me to take a seat. I walked out of the classroom feeling optimistic, with Mrs. Steward's favorite quote stuck in my head.
After that long lecture with Mrs. Steward I've made the effort to obtain better grades. Every morning before I went to school, I made a special goal to accomplish. It would either be to study a certain page, research an article pertaining to what I've learned that day, or A a quiz/test. D's were turning into C's and B's. I did this alone releasing all the strength concealed from inside of me. This is where the value "Vires" is reflected in my life. It is the day I took my teacher's advice and implied a significant quote by Anatole France, "To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe." I pin pointed my mistakes in school and corrected them. For example, I remember when I would be at my desk taking notes as my teacher teaches. Writing notes wouldn't make a difference unless I studied them and really understand the concepts. Studying helped, but believing in myself, having faith really motivated me to do my best. When I made A's and B's it only raised the bar high, enforcing me that anything below a "B" is unacceptable.
However, it was not easy achieving my goals, because Life is unpredictable. I had to jump over the struggles. And if life felt the need to barricade me from accomplishing any of my goals, I would lift my head higher than its original level. I acquired every little pain, changing pain into strength, the strength that has enabled me to become an intellectual.
To conclude, I have, accomplished great dreams, progressing in realities' pace. Looking back, I'm glad that I sat down to acknowledge valuable lessons from my Reading teacher; Mrs. Steward.
Good evening.
My main concern here is your mechanics; you have a great essay but I am afraid that your story will get lost in mechanical errors, mainly spelling, capitalization, and word usage. To help with this, I suggest one of the books from the "Prentice Hall Guide for College Writers" series written by Stephen Reid. You can pick any of them up cheap used, or get them from the library. I think there are six in the series now, and any of them would help you here.
In regards to content, your story is a very concise illustration of the characteristic you chose. Your conclusion is good, but it could be stronger. Try tying in a sentence or two about the strength you write about in the paper.
Regards,
Gloria
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