I am not spectacular at English so can someone please help me refine my essay? Please also make suggestions regarding the content of the essay!
It's my commonapp essay, 'topic of your choice'
Spray-paint
Abruptly, I kick the half-filled pepsi can into the goal. No, not a real goal-post, but the one I and my friends drew on the crumbling white wall with yellow spray-paint. I tuck my hands into my jacket and turn around to take a good look at our 'playground' and reminisce about the days when I used to play here. Technically it was only a street like any other; old and shoddy residential buildings extant on either side of it and a few cars parked here and there. We brought this dead street to life by painting goalposts on two crumbling, white walls and with the first kick of a soccer ball.
Within a few weeks from now, I will go away from Jeddah forever and all of a sudden I start to feel a nostalgic attachment to this playground. As a young child, I wasn't privileged to play on soft grass and goalposts, but my feet found solace in the rough concrete and stones and painted walls. And not just I, several other kids from different cultures (South Asian, African and Arab) found a second home in this playground. We all were connected by soccer. This is where we all were first exposed to each other's language, customs and thoughts; this is where we all first embraced diversity. And not surprisingly, I faced my first challenges here.
A few weeks after we first started playing here, my new sneakers tore and I was left dismayed because I couldn't afford to buy another pair. Not ready to stop playing, I told myself that many challenges are yet to come in life and I may be left to face them with no tools at my disposal but I can't let that stop me. I started playing with bare feet. My feet were cut and jagged and bled a few times but I eventually adjusted to the roughness of the pitch.
I was often outperformed by the Arabs and Africans. Although initially it felt humiliating, I managed to overcome the chagrin, put aside any jealousy and focus on learning from them. It took some time, but eventually I was appeased to finally play at a level similar to their. I started grow as soon as I was ready to admit that I suck.
Eventually, as I grew older, I started to devote more time to studying, reading and thinking but my attachment to the playground never faded. I played there less often but always played with the same enthusiasm and joy. We learn as we lose. On this pitch, I lost many matches, a tooth, a few toe nails, my footing (several times and ended up scratching my shins and knees), my temper (losing matches does provoke frustration) but in return I found happiness, resilience and unwavering confidence. Life is what we make out of it. Situations are what we make out of them. A stone and concrete pitch and spray-painted walls sufficed for a soccer turf in my life. I have witnessed the magic that a little bit of spray paint can do.
It's my commonapp essay, 'topic of your choice'
Spray-paint
Abruptly, I kick the half-filled pepsi can into the goal. No, not a real goal-post, but the one I and my friends drew on the crumbling white wall with yellow spray-paint. I tuck my hands into my jacket and turn around to take a good look at our 'playground' and reminisce about the days when I used to play here. Technically it was only a street like any other; old and shoddy residential buildings extant on either side of it and a few cars parked here and there. We brought this dead street to life by painting goalposts on two crumbling, white walls and with the first kick of a soccer ball.
Within a few weeks from now, I will go away from Jeddah forever and all of a sudden I start to feel a nostalgic attachment to this playground. As a young child, I wasn't privileged to play on soft grass and goalposts, but my feet found solace in the rough concrete and stones and painted walls. And not just I, several other kids from different cultures (South Asian, African and Arab) found a second home in this playground. We all were connected by soccer. This is where we all were first exposed to each other's language, customs and thoughts; this is where we all first embraced diversity. And not surprisingly, I faced my first challenges here.
A few weeks after we first started playing here, my new sneakers tore and I was left dismayed because I couldn't afford to buy another pair. Not ready to stop playing, I told myself that many challenges are yet to come in life and I may be left to face them with no tools at my disposal but I can't let that stop me. I started playing with bare feet. My feet were cut and jagged and bled a few times but I eventually adjusted to the roughness of the pitch.
I was often outperformed by the Arabs and Africans. Although initially it felt humiliating, I managed to overcome the chagrin, put aside any jealousy and focus on learning from them. It took some time, but eventually I was appeased to finally play at a level similar to their. I started grow as soon as I was ready to admit that I suck.
Eventually, as I grew older, I started to devote more time to studying, reading and thinking but my attachment to the playground never faded. I played there less often but always played with the same enthusiasm and joy. We learn as we lose. On this pitch, I lost many matches, a tooth, a few toe nails, my footing (several times and ended up scratching my shins and knees), my temper (losing matches does provoke frustration) but in return I found happiness, resilience and unwavering confidence. Life is what we make out of it. Situations are what we make out of them. A stone and concrete pitch and spray-painted walls sufficed for a soccer turf in my life. I have witnessed the magic that a little bit of spray paint can do.
