Hello. I'm looking to apply for the University of Washington as a transfer student. I've just completed my first draft and I was wondering if i could get some feedback.
Personal statement:
Every child hears a lecture as to why they should do well in school at some point as they are growing up. Parents always have different reasons why but their intent is the same. They want their child to succeed. I'm sure that many kids would nod in agreement just so that the lecture would be over and not really take it to heart. I was one of those kids. My mother always stressed the importance of doing well in school and, unfortunately, I chose not to heed those words. All I wanted was to enjoy my teenage years hanging out with friends and doing teenager stuff. In the end I somewhat paid the price as I struggled in my senior year just to graduate. With my mother being a full-time homemaker and my grades not being anything that was worth showing off, college was not an option for me. While I think that I would have tried harder, I am quite sure that I would have been quite distracted and I would only have been wasting my parent's money and the teacher's time.
After high school, I did what the only remaining option left for me and that was to enlist in the Navy. I spent a little over ten years in the Navy. Seven of those were spent stationed onboard a nuclear submarine, the USS Michigan SSGN-727, and the last three were spent overseas in the Yokosuka, Japan. It was during my time in the military where I looked into the option of pursuing higher education. We were always afforded opportunities to pursue higher education and the first time I did was while I was still stationed onboard the Michigan. However, I took my first course the wrong reason which was that the school provided a student with a free computer for enrolling. It wasn't until I was stationed in Japan when I started to take it a little more seriously. I wanted to immerse myself in Japanese culture so I enrolled in a Japanese class. This helped me immensely because it allowed me to communicate, at a bare minimum, with Japanese locals and I was able to make friends with some who did not speak much English. After that first quarter, I thought to myself, "This isn't so bad." A couple of quarters later I took English and Math courses and did well in them as well. However, that didn't last long because my immature side took over wanting to spend more time partying than in school so I didn't take any other classes for the rest of the time I was in the Navy. The Navy was a great experience and over the ten years, while not fully, I felt I had matured. I learned discipline, responsibility, various skills, and realized how quick of a learner I was.
The two years after getting out of the Navy was a rough period. I did not plan well in making the transition from military to civilian life. I tried moving to Japan for three months to try and find work but without higher education it proved difficult. Add the fact that I was looking more to party or hang out and you have a recipe for unsuccessful. It wasn't until my friends started truly questioning my intentions that I took a good hard look at myself. After thinking about it, I realized how truly lost I was. I didn't have any real direction as to where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. The next year and a half I spent job-hunting and working as a contractor at Puget Sound Naval Shipyard which only lasted months a time. While rough, there were still some good times thrown in there and I don't regret it but it's also time that could have been better spent.
The summer of 2011 was when I finally told myself "enough is enough". I have many benefits afforded to me by the Veterans' Association and decided to use them. I started looking into enrolling at Olympic College and getting information about the G.I. Bill and in the fall of 2011 I was back in a classroom. Ever since then I have been taking classes not even taking a break for summer. I have a new drive in me to succeed and I've learned to not let distractions stray me from that path. I've learned to sacrifice personal time to ensure I keep my grades up. I've sacrificed sleep to take a full-time job in Bellevue while still living and taking classes in Bremerton so that when I eventually do make the transition over to the Seattle side, I have something to keep me on my feet. I am currently pursuing a Business Associate in Arts - DTA and looking to transfer to the University of Washington's Foster School of Business and its Information Systems department. While Olympic College has been good to me, I want to take it up a notch and show myself that I can succeed at a higher level. Being the only one out of my siblings actively pursuing a four-year degree, I also want to make my parents proud and to show them that their support, even during my rough patch, wasn't all for naught. I also do it for my friends who have supported me through these years. Most of all, I do it for myself. I know I'm better than what I was before and I want to succeed at one of the top schools in the state of Washington.
Personal statement:
Every child hears a lecture as to why they should do well in school at some point as they are growing up. Parents always have different reasons why but their intent is the same. They want their child to succeed. I'm sure that many kids would nod in agreement just so that the lecture would be over and not really take it to heart. I was one of those kids. My mother always stressed the importance of doing well in school and, unfortunately, I chose not to heed those words. All I wanted was to enjoy my teenage years hanging out with friends and doing teenager stuff. In the end I somewhat paid the price as I struggled in my senior year just to graduate. With my mother being a full-time homemaker and my grades not being anything that was worth showing off, college was not an option for me. While I think that I would have tried harder, I am quite sure that I would have been quite distracted and I would only have been wasting my parent's money and the teacher's time.
After high school, I did what the only remaining option left for me and that was to enlist in the Navy. I spent a little over ten years in the Navy. Seven of those were spent stationed onboard a nuclear submarine, the USS Michigan SSGN-727, and the last three were spent overseas in the Yokosuka, Japan. It was during my time in the military where I looked into the option of pursuing higher education. We were always afforded opportunities to pursue higher education and the first time I did was while I was still stationed onboard the Michigan. However, I took my first course the wrong reason which was that the school provided a student with a free computer for enrolling. It wasn't until I was stationed in Japan when I started to take it a little more seriously. I wanted to immerse myself in Japanese culture so I enrolled in a Japanese class. This helped me immensely because it allowed me to communicate, at a bare minimum, with Japanese locals and I was able to make friends with some who did not speak much English. After that first quarter, I thought to myself, "This isn't so bad." A couple of quarters later I took English and Math courses and did well in them as well. However, that didn't last long because my immature side took over wanting to spend more time partying than in school so I didn't take any other classes for the rest of the time I was in the Navy. The Navy was a great experience and over the ten years, while not fully, I felt I had matured. I learned discipline, responsibility, various skills, and realized how quick of a learner I was.
The two years after getting out of the Navy was a rough period. I did not plan well in making the transition from military to civilian life. I tried moving to Japan for three months to try and find work but without higher education it proved difficult. Add the fact that I was looking more to party or hang out and you have a recipe for unsuccessful. It wasn't until my friends started truly questioning my intentions that I took a good hard look at myself. After thinking about it, I realized how truly lost I was. I didn't have any real direction as to where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. The next year and a half I spent job-hunting and working as a contractor at Puget Sound Naval Shipyard which only lasted months a time. While rough, there were still some good times thrown in there and I don't regret it but it's also time that could have been better spent.
The summer of 2011 was when I finally told myself "enough is enough". I have many benefits afforded to me by the Veterans' Association and decided to use them. I started looking into enrolling at Olympic College and getting information about the G.I. Bill and in the fall of 2011 I was back in a classroom. Ever since then I have been taking classes not even taking a break for summer. I have a new drive in me to succeed and I've learned to not let distractions stray me from that path. I've learned to sacrifice personal time to ensure I keep my grades up. I've sacrificed sleep to take a full-time job in Bellevue while still living and taking classes in Bremerton so that when I eventually do make the transition over to the Seattle side, I have something to keep me on my feet. I am currently pursuing a Business Associate in Arts - DTA and looking to transfer to the University of Washington's Foster School of Business and its Information Systems department. While Olympic College has been good to me, I want to take it up a notch and show myself that I can succeed at a higher level. Being the only one out of my siblings actively pursuing a four-year degree, I also want to make my parents proud and to show them that their support, even during my rough patch, wasn't all for naught. I also do it for my friends who have supported me through these years. Most of all, I do it for myself. I know I'm better than what I was before and I want to succeed at one of the top schools in the state of Washington.
