Hello All! This is my first time posting and I am looking for any feedback for my personal statement for law school. The topic is the basic why do you wish to study law. Thanks in advance!
I can say with confidence that my past has pushed me to further my education and go to law school. When ten years of your life is summarized by child custody hearings, supervised visitations, and testifying that your mother is an alcoholic; you would think one would stay far away from the legal system. Not for me. The burning passion and desire within me to become a lawyer will stay forever.
The spark of interest for law happened when I was fourteen years old. I stepped into the Hillsborough County Courthouse to testify that my mother is an alcoholic. I was there to tell the judge that my mother was an unfit parent to care for my two younger sisters and myself. I was there to tell the judge my side of the story, the one who was living in this awful nightmare that would never end, until that day. I felt as though I was the lawyer; seeking justice and defending those who cannot defend themselves, my sisters.
I chose to go to Florida State because their College of Criminology and Criminal Justice has the best criminology and criminal justice programs in the nation. If you want to be the best, you must learn from the best. The professors were there to guide me in the right direction, as well as push me to my breaking point because they knew what I was capable of. The endless nights in the library studying for Criminology, Corrections and Law Enforcement; the desire for law was now a constant fiery flame.
My senior year, I applied for a semester internship with the Public Defender's Office. The internship was offered through the College and upon completion of the internship, students would receive fifteen credit hours. I thought it would be a great experience to use the knowledge from my courses and put it to good use. Luck of the draw had me placed in the juvenile division. Working with the kids and their parents, always reminded me of my day in the courtroom. My goal each day was that each child I interacted with knew that I was looking out for their best interests. I can say at the end of the internship, my love for law was no longer a spark nor constant flame, but a blazing fire.
Within two months after graduating college, I secured a job at a law firm in my hometown. As I look back, I believe my internship was the center stage of law. I was working in the courtroom and connecting with clients. With my current position, I feel as though I'm doing the "back stage" work, which is probably the most important of all jobs. Reading, writing, analyzing and executing are the four most important characteristics to have in becoming a top lawyer.
With my experiences, past and present, I feel as though I have the strengths and abilities to be a successful lawyer. I am ready to take this next step in my life and have the burning fire glow forever.
Hello Whitney,
First, I was impressed your story.
It is fluent writing and easy to understand overall, but I thought some sentences are not suitable for academic writing as far as I concern (if it's casual writing, I like those words)
ex)
I can say with confidence that...
my love for law was no longer a spark nor constant flame, but a blazing fire.
my life and have the burning fire glow forever.
I don't know how to change thses words to formal way due to my luck of skills...sorry!
but ít might be better to think other expression. good luck with your study for the law.
