Stuck on UC prompt, there is nothing really exciting in my life..

Hey guys,

I am really stuck on how to start with this prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

There is nothing really exciting in my life. Can someone help me?

<3

What is a typical day like for you? What kinds of people do you see in your neighborhood? If your life is uninteresting then why are you interested in going to college?

You must be excited about something in your life. What is your major? Does that excite you? Just talk about what life is like for you and how you mentally and emotionally respond to it. Give your essay your own unique style and commentary. Perhaps if you simply listed the things you do every day the essay would be boring. But if we can really view these events through your eyes the essay could be full of humor and/or emotionality through your commentary. The essay readers want to get to know you. They aren't so much interested in your "world" as they are in how you have responded to it. Boring things may have happened to you but your commentary may be very interesting. Give it a shot!

Thanks for the feedback!

A typical day for me is school, volunteering, and dance class. I'm interested in science like bio. Should I discuss how volunteering has shaped my world?

Follow these instructions. How has your family and cultural background shaped who you are? What is your cultural background? What advantages has having this background had for you? Are there any disadvantages that you have had to overcome? What about your family? Are you an only child, or do you have siblings? How does being in the one sort of family make you different from how you would have been if you had been in the other sort? And so on.

Alternatively, you could approach the question from the other direction, and focus on


So, what are your dreams and aspirations? How did you develop these dreams? Who or what inspired and encouraged you to pursue them?

Sean is right: Simply follow the instructions. They didn't ask if there is anything exciting in your life. They asked how your environment has shaped you. Show them that you have sufficient insight and observational ability to answer that question.

Well you like danceing and community service has this effected your dreams at all?

Our family is very unique compare to the typical Indian family of today. Indian families today are modernized: they like to brag about what they accomplished, make sure their children are following today's trend, and are not appreciative of their culture. My family has helped me deter away from the thoughts of typical Indians with their traditional yet powerful ideals: do things without expectations, whatever you do, do it with full heart, and don't worry about what other people think.

That's how I started it...is it okay so far?

Thanks

Can you say this in a nicer way?
maybe "they like to strive for constant success and make sure their children follow today's trends, and in the process are slowly distancing from their culture."

"...do it with a full heart.."

I like the direction you're taking with this, but try to make it sound more sincere and less flowery by avoiding cliche's like "a full heart." Just be straightforward, for example mention it if you feel that following your own passions rather than what others want of you is more important, trying is more important than succeeding, being happy is more important than being successful, etc. etc. If you are completely honest it will sound very good.

Then give examples or anecdotes of how these family morals have shaped your goals and aspirations, etc. Keep looking at the prompt to make sure you are answering it.

During junior year, I had a hard time of what my career should be. There were so many choices out there. All my friends were purposely doing the same thing so they could stay together. I really wanted to go through the path, but I also wanted to explore some more to see which career actually fits my personality. I didn't know what to do, so I asked my parents for help. The only thing they said that following passions is more important than what others want you to do. After that, I realized that what my friends are doing should not affect my decisions, especially choosing my future career.

Thanks for your input! This is my second paragraph,it is an example of how my parents teachings shaped my aspirations in the future. I'm so stuck as to what to add next.

I always wanted to know the meaning behind all the rituals we did such as why do we put a red bindi on our head or why do we pray to Lord Ganesh? I asked my parents for the answer, but they didn't know. This answer wasn't good enough me so I researched, but I couldn't find anything. Later on, my family joined this organization called Swadhyay which teaches us about our culture. Through discourses made by Rev. Pandurang Shahstri Athavale, I learned that the reason women put bindis on their head is for praying our intellect and we pray Lord Ganesh to remove our obstacles in our life. Swadhyay is a huge part of my world because it made me more knowledgeable about my culture and heritage.

This is my third paragraph, I'm so confused on how to end it? Should the next paragraph be the conclusion?

Thanks! :)

Nope, I don't think so. You have to say how this background shaped your goals and aspirations. Remember to keep looking at the prompt!--half of it asks you what this background has done to your goals. So you need another paragraph explaining your goals and aspirations (it should be clear that your family and culture shaped these because those are what the last two paragraphs were about), and then perhaps you can have a concluding paragraph.

And once you have your remaining paragraphs done, perhaps you could put everything together in a single post, to make reading your draft easier.

Thanks for the feedback! I'll put it all on one post.

hi, I finally finished with my essay...could anyone give feedback?

thanks for all your help :)

Our family is very unique compare to the typical Indian family of today. Indian families today are modernized: they like to strive for constant success and make sure their children follow today's trends, and in the process are slowly distancing from their culture. My family has helped me deter away from the thoughts of typical Indians with their traditional yet powerful ideals: do things without expectations, and follow your passions is more important than what others want you to do.

During junior year, I had a hard time of what my career should be. There were so many choices out there. All my friends were purposely doing the same thing so they could stay together. I really wanted to go through the path, but I also wanted to explore some more to see which career actually fits my personality. I didn't know what to do, so I asked my parents for help. The only thing they said that following passions is more important than what others want you to do. After that, I realized that what my friends are doing should not affect my decisions, especially choosing my future career.

I always wanted to know the meaning behind all the rituals we did such as why do we put a red bindi on our head or why do we pray to Lord Ganesh? I asked my parents for the answer, but they didn't know. This answer wasn't good enough me so I researched, but I couldn't find anything. Later on, my family joined this organization called Swadhyay which teaches us about our culture. Through discourses made by Rev. Pandurang Shahstri Athavale, I learned that the reason women put bindis on their head is for praying our intellect and we pray Lord Ganesh to remove our obstacles in our life. Swadhyay is a huge part of my world because it made me more knowledgeable about my culture and heritage.

Being in Swadhyay and with the help of my family, I am able to achieve my aspirations of becoming a better student and more knowledgeable about my culture. With the help of my parents, I am able to find more opportunities that will lead me to my career goal.

With these teachings, I am able to reach my goals and aspirations successfully.

lol
Your sentence structure is flawed. For example your second sentence. Your tenses need work. Following your passions.
Your grammer mistakes are numerous so I won't go into detail there.
Avoid useless sentences such as "There were so many choices out there."
It seems to me that your essay is unfocused.

"Swadhyay is a huge part of my world because it made me more knowledgeable about my culture and heritage."
These broad statements are unwise.

"Being in Swadhyay and with the help of my family, I am able to achieve my aspirations of becoming a better student and more knowledgeable about my culture. With the help of my parents, I am able to find more opportunities that will lead me to my career goal.

With these teachings, I am able to reach my goals and aspirations successfully."

Your whole essay is really broad. Your only focused example is "I learned that the reason women put bindis on their head is for praying our intellect and we pray Lord Ganesh to remove our obstacles in our life." And you never show why this is important.

Your example talking about how your friends all are affected by each others choices should cite a specific incident.

Overall...I don't know. A major problem I have with your writing is your writing itself. It is far to0 immature. Develope a writing style.

Sorry for the criticism but it's what I really think.

1) Organize your thoughts so that your two paragraphs don't have choppy transitions.

2) Your writing must flow better.