Do you think this is good? Should I remove the last line?
Why Rice?
Quite simply, I've been interacting with Rice students and alumni my entire life, and nearly every single one has told me that they love Rice. I've sat in at classes, wandered around the campus, trained by stair-stepping at the track field, and done swim teams for years at Rice. I feel comfortable at Rice.
And yes, there's more. Rice has an extremely strong biology department, with the Medical Center literally right next door for research and internship opportunities. The psychology department is equally strong. This is all right in the middle of a city I like quite a bit.
So, that's the triumvirate, I guess. Location, academics, students.
It is a good statement, really.
I like how you separated two paragraphs.
I can really feel your reason of choosing Rice.
I don't think you need to remove the last sentence. You need closing sentences anyway.
Take out the I guess. It just sounds like you're not really sure.
Quite simply, I've been interacting with Rice students and alumni my entire life, and nearly every single one has told me that they love Rice.
^ Exaggeration. Did you begin interacting with them at birth? A little bit cliche too.
Literally? As opposed to figuratively?
Thanks yycho and mayflower.
And it actually is literally. An entire side of the Rice campus is across the street from the med center.
I'll revise the beginning and end.
The word literally takes away from it. Taking it out would still have the same affect. : )
What is the word limit? you may feel comfortable at rice, but why? how does Rice makes you feel what you feel? Also write a bit about what you plan to obtain from Rice. I do see you say you like many programs offered at Rice but you only go so far to say "you like". Why do you like them? Why do you find that the location int he middle of the city is important? is it due to environment? resources? However, I do like the way you personalize the essay, and I love the tone of this essay too. Hopefully my information helped and best wishes to your college application.
There might be a better way to word "This is all right in the middle of a city I like quite a bit. "
Quite simply, I've been interacting with Rice students and alumni my entire life, and nearly every single one has told me that they love Rice. I've sat in at classes, wandered around the campus, trained by stair-stepping at the track field, and done swim teams for years at Rice. I feel comfortable at Rice.
And yes, there's more. Rice has an extremely strong biology department, with the Medical Center literally right next door for research and internship opportunities. The psychology department is equally strong. This is all right in the middle of a city I like quite a bit.
So, that's the triumvirate, I guess. Location, academics, students.
Hi.
I would delete the comma after "field"
change the word "done"... try.. participated... joined...
I would combine "I feel comfortable" with "there is more" using "but"
you would be a perfect candidate for my essay, I am applying to Rice .
:)
