Looking for feedback and advice on my Lehigh supplement essay.
What distinguishes Lehigh to make it the right fit for you? Please reply with 150-250 words.
Studying history allows us to understand the growth of "humanity"; how developments in science and technology have redefined daily life, how economies have grown beyond agrarian communities to encompass the globe, and how art and music have captured the social values of past cultures. Most importantly, history analyzes how we have developed as a social species to create our globalized society. History's interdisciplinary nature integrates it with political science - the study of how society structures itself. At Lehigh, the Double Major program would allow me to combine my passion for history with my interest in political science to create a comprehensive program of study.
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Daniel, these types of essays ask you to discuss 3 specific things:
1. Why you think Lehigh is the place where you will grow best academically;
2. How the university community will help your personality development and what you can offer to the community;
3. What activities the university offers both academically and socially that you look forward to participating in.
Connect your answers to those 3 questions to your wants and needs as a student and person so that you can properly answer the essay prompt.
Thanks for the guidelines. I was trying to cram too much about why I like history, and not enough about why I like Lehigh. I went back and made revisions.
Daniel, we need a line that talks about your extra curricular activities at the school. You need to mention some ways that you plan on using the school community and facilities to relax during your off school hours. Remember, American university life is not all about academics. They are looking for a student who knows how to balance work and play in their lives. Is there an extra curricular activity at the school that you may be interested in? It can be any activity that you feel you can excel in but still relax at the same time. I believe that this lacking aspect is why your essay still feels raw when you read it.
I'm about 30 words over the limit now, but it certainly feels more complete:
What attracts me most to Lehigh is a multifaceted approach to learning and living, an independent and interdisciplinary program enhanced by its diverse community of people and interests. At Lehigh, I will be able to integrate my passion for history, into a broader liberal arts curriculum that will encompass all aspects of human knowledge and expose me to a multitude of new ideas.
At the heart of my interest in history is my goal of contributing to historical knowledge. I hope to work with a professor like Professor Grigoryan whose research on Soviet and Post-Soviet international relations resonates with my Russian cultural background. Lehigh's unique Mountaintop Initiative would give me the opportunity to propose and conduct research with other students in an uninhibited environment that will promote creative and thoughtful exploration.
Lehigh's diversity is reflected in the breadth of extracurricular activities offered on campus. Whether I'm cheering for the Mountain Hawks as they take on Lafayette, watching a club performance at the Zoellner Arts Center, or just shooting pool with my dormmates, the wide variety of activities will always keep me entertained. Having worked with elementary and middle school students in an educational setting, I would be interested in joining the club "America Reads America Counts" to help engage elementary schools students in fun, educational activity that cultivates their love of learning. I hope to one day promote my own club: a historical community outreach group that will teach local school children about their ancestors and generate enthusiasm for learning about the past.
Freedom sparks creativity and creativity spurs progress. By studying at Lehigh, I look to be part of a freethinking and integrated community that will support my intellectual growth.
This is exactly 250. See if this version works for you. Feel free to use it or make a new version using it as a basis.
I am attracted most to the mutlifaceted approach to learning and living at Lehigh. With an independent and interdisciplinary program that is enhanced by its divers community and interests, I know that I will be able to integrate my passion for history into a broader liberal arts curriculum spanning all aspects of human knowledge and new ideas.
At the heart of my interest in history is my goal of contributing to historical knowledge. I hope to work with Professor Grigoryan whose research on Soviet and Post-Soviet international relations resonates with my Russian cultural background. The Mountaintop Initiative would give me the opportunity to conduct research with other students in an environment promoting creative and thoughtful exploration.
Whether I'm cheering for the Mountain Hawks as they take on Lafayette, watching a club performance at the Zoellner Arts Center, or just shooting pool with my dormmates, the wide variety of activities will always keep me entertained.
Having worked with elementary and middle school students in an educational setting, I would be interested in joining the club "America Reads America Counts" to help engage elementary schools students in fun, educational activity that cultivates their love of learning. I hope to one day promote my own club: a historical community outreach group that will teach local school children about their ancestors and generate enthusiasm for learning about the past.
Freedom sparks creativity and creativity spurs progress. I look to be part of a freethinking and integrated community at Lehigh that supports my intellectual growth.
This is great! Thank you. I sometimes struggle with condensing my own writing in fear that I might cut away to much. You condensed it while still capturing the essence of everything I tried to say. Thank you.