Style of Studying; MPACT of my personal weakness on PA program

Hi ,I need comments for my ESSAY ,'Personal weakness ' .
Throughout my medical study, I used to focus on my final exam scores and grades for each year, pushing myself vigorously to achieve my goals, but while behaving in such a tough way, I have missed the enjoyment of being going through all of that and even my personal life.

This was my weakness and I have worked to improve it. I had to change my attitude while dealing with stressful situations. The distinct point was when I realized that undertaking the hard way and being too hard to me is so stressful. I am convinced now that my life would always be on the line of fire so better I must teach myself to enjoy my time during that.

Well it is a working progress and I still face stressful times, but still I have to enjoy the journey even before reaching my milestone, considering that there is usually another milestone to chase.

I have learned that I would never let hard moments take away my joy from me. Instead, I will keep chasing my goals was out neglecting the intimate moments of our short life.

By time and persistence, I returned to my usual activity and hobbies for example spiritual activities, reading romantic novels, being a leader in a scout team and reading many books about enjoying my life. Even my time was very narrow than before ,there was one of the achievements that I am proud of is that I was responsible for implementing ' First aid and CPR program 'for youth in my scout team. I have enjoyed doing transfer my knowledge to them. Doing those added a mint flavor to my usual routine and did add to my personality besides studying. With this rationality, I perceive my future. Ongoing in PA program, I will never ignore my personal life beside my commitment to my studying. I cannot wait to review and add to my medical knowledge .I feel myself thrilled to return back to the profession which I have dreamed about it through my entire life .

This is a very important sentence because its the beginning of your essay. I feel as if this sentence is a little too long. Breaking it down would be a good idea.


Ummmm... I'm not sure I understand what you are trying to say here. :/

Hi dumi,
Thanx alot i appreciate your comment . I am modifying my Essay as possible as i can .Would you please review the new edited one .Thanx .

Hi Pahan ,
yup I did some changes ,thanx .

Throughout my medical study, the target of achieving high grades at the final exam drove me. This demanded me to employ a more studious approach sacrificing many other personal interests. Sometime, that approach caused severe study pressure and stress to me. However, by doing so, I now I feel I have missed many enjoyable moments during my school life. This was my weakness and I have worked to improve it. I had to change my personal attitude at the most stressful situations. For me, the distinct point was when I figured that my future is so important to plan for, but not to be obsessed to the extent that I neglect my present. In addition, undertaking the hard way and being too hard with myself, was so demanding and it did not bring about my expectations. By time and persistence, I returned to my usual activity and hobbies for example spiritual activities, reading romantic novels. Although, the time space for those activities became very narrow than before, I was enjoying it. One of the achievements, which I am proud of, was Planning 'First aid and CPR program 'and coaching youth in my scout team. I have enjoyed doing transfer my knowledge to them. Totally, I became convinced that finding the pleasure, in each step toward achieving my goals, it would be for my advantage and it has a magic power in alleviating the toughness of each step. Doing those added a mint flavor to life and did add to my personality besides I got an upswing in my grades for the clinical years of study. To be more consistent, well it is a working progress and I still face challenging times, but still I have to enjoy the journey even before reaching my milestone. Considering that, there is usually another milestone to chase. I have learned to keep chasing my goals without neglecting the intimate moments of our short life. With this rationality, I perceive my future. Intensively I wish to be enrolled in PA program. I will commit to my study, but I will never ignore my personal life. I cannot wait to review and add to my medical knowledge .I feel myself thrilled to get the opportunity that would be the modified base for my future professionalism.