survival situations - Short Essay Commonapp

Hello, Im from Colombia thus my grammar in english is bad. So i'll be very grateful if someone can help me with my short essay, here is:

"Surviving on a mountain with a group of friends using only some abstract skills, one tends to anticipate death; the death of his friends or worse, his own. Overcoming obstacles in such expeditions is a challenging experience, but one that is entirely feasible. Such was my experience with a group of intimate friends with whom I managed to successfully complete the excursion. With us was member of the Scouts of Colombia, my sister.

Since I had never been in a situation requiring survival skills, the journey was one full of lessons. I learned that the first obstacles are often fought mentally; tenacity is a skill required to cope in extreme situations. Being within the group gave us a chance to learn from each other: the value of friendship and respect for nature. I discovered a side of myself I never knew existed; an inclination towards risky situations and the ability to take charge. When we had to cross a flowing river, I naturally led the way, navigating through the rapids. When everyone followed me, I was very pleased; they trusted me.

The company that I had in this situation was critical as it was with some friends and my sister, at that time the friendship becomes an unbeatable value. In some cases the eyes of your friends become our own eyes, for example in the serious mistake we made, moving at night. After this we saw civilization, I felt very glad because I knew that I contributed to survive

as well as contributed to our survival, I know I can also help with interesting things in the life, and even more on campus.

Since I lived these experience I learned appreciate the friendship, the nature and I developed my leadership skills, these leadership skills I know going to help me in the university life."

Plase help me with the grammar or with suggestions for do a best essay. Thanks.

Hello, Im from Colombia thus my grammar in english is bad. So i'll be very grateful if someone can help me with my short essay, here is:

Que chevere que eres de colombia! Yo soy venezolana jaja, pero ahorita vivo en los E.U. I'll just talk to you in English through the rest of this so everyone can comment or correct me if I make a mistake :). I'm not going to do an exact translation, because I feel it sounds more natural if you play around with the words a bit.

"Surviving in a mountain where all you have on hand are friends, leadership skills and some survival skills, sometimes you come to think that in this situationthis is the day of death offor some of your friends or even our own deathfor yourself . Overcoming obstacles and survivesurviving in the middle of nowhere is not easy but not impossiblepossible and that's what I achieved with my group, and my sister, as well as the people who belonged to thein my group of The Scouts de Colombia. Survival is first and foremost a mental attitude which is influenced by many mechanisms that need to know whichillustrate how to cope successfully within extreme situations.

I was a person who had never been in survival situations but some minimal experience and knowledge saved my life, my sister and my friends. In the group of Scoutswhich I was placed in, they had given us sometaught us lessons of survival, and how to react in a situation of this typethis similar situation all while showing us the value of friendship andthe respect for nature,.By preserving these teachingslessons, we can overcome such obstacles and survive in the forest. One of the attitude was most important that I took my character to be riskyOne of the most important attitudes to have in survival is the ability to be daring and to lead in certain situationsand lead in some situations,There was a time when we had to cross a flowing river, and I was the first to do so while the other placed their trust in me and followed me across.like when we had to cross a flowing river, was the first thing I did and then everyone followed me, they trusted me .

The company of my friends and of my sister through this challenging situation was criticalthat I had in this situation was criticalas it was with some friends and my sister, atbecause friendship becomes a significantly unbeatable valuethat time the friendship becomes an unbeatable value. In some cases, such as moving through the night, the eyes of your friends become our own eyes. for example in the serious mistake we made, moving at night.

After havingHaving to fight for our lives through the unbearable cold and through starvation,starving and cold, seeseeing civilization after we all survived the challenge was one of the greatest joys of my life,which I had achieved, we had all survived the challenge.

i have learned thatThe respect and love for natureas well as the value of friendship is anadmirable quality which I have gained, and it is one which everyone should possessthat I have and that everyone should have and that friendship is invaluable "

Espero que te ayude un poquito! Good luck.

Below is a revised version of the above. i have tried to fix most of your grammar and mechanics issues as wells as introduce a sense of coherence. The organization of the original was a bit lacking. You need to give more example of situations you encountered during the trip and how you gained skills that are essential to life at university.

Hey Gabbyy37 que chevere encontrarme a un vecino por estos lados. GRACIAS ;)

Kimathi thank you very much, now I understand how to do a best essay, thank you.

Hello again,

I fixed some things in my short essay with the help that gave me above, please tell me what do you thing about the issue, how is my grammar?

Thank you.

Hello Diego Rojas. You have a great name, a leader's name. Doesn't roja mean the same as red?

"Surviving on a mountain with a group of friends using only some abstract skills, one tends to anticipate death -- the death of his friends or worse his own.

When everyone followed me, I was very pleased; they trusted me.----very good imagery and demonstration of your introspection.

The company that I had in this situation was critical as it was with some friends and my sister, at that time the friendship becomes an unbeatable value.---- You write so well; I think you can write this sentence in a better way. It is confusing.

Oh, it's funny that leadership is a theme for the essay, because before I even read it I thought the name Diego Rojas sounded like the name of a leader.

Please check out essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/ and help us make sure everybody gets help with their essays during this upcoming busy season! :-) It will be great to have you around.

Grammar: Since I lived these experiences I learned appreciate the friendship the and nature and while I developed my leadership skills -- these leadership skills that I know are going to help me in the university life."

Thank you very much Kevin... yes rojo or roja does mean red :)

you help is very great for me. Im going to fix the grammar.

I already wrote for be a EF contributor, I'll be very pleased to help others persons.

Thank you.