Sustainable Building Systems Program - max. word limit of a personal statement (education studies)

modulus robots

When I was in the 8th grade reading news about modulus robots, I thought of inventing self-sustained sustainable modules buildings. I would like to build it in poorly developed areas and provided home and energy for non-profit. Though it was an immediate childhood inspiration, I've been holding on since and exploring opportunities and supports as I came to the US.

Now, I have more inspirations to dream of soon as I rent my student apartment in the US. I had a hard time finding a nice place to stay considering Syracuse city is somewhat devastated after its industrial boom. Convenient public transportation and high-quality living environment soon become a delusion of what I originally thought my life on campus would be. Through mindful researches, I figured this inefficient lifestyle could ultimately be related to the almighty source of energy that is supporting earthlings - the Sun. I could not find an apartment that is west-east oriented with large south facing windows after visit four big apartment leasing offices. Furthermore, I also found that my peers know nothing about the orientation preference of these buildings. Then I thought, I could trace the term Passive Solar System back to 1970s in many ASES or AIA papers, but the lack of publication education becomes an obstacle for the cognition of fundamentally sustainable practices.

I began to research independently on simple green technologies and opportunities for self-interest and earned a certification in LEED Green Associate through additional courses. I have also become an active member in various Central New York engineering student fairs to spread knowledge of sustainability, and as well as being the first international student leader in American Society of Civil Engineers Syracuse University chapter. With my leadership role in the academic community, I aim to advocate for infrastructural and environmental sustainability and investigation in global sustainable practices. I have dedicated my leadership in Green ASCEville technologies and demonstration of reduction of wetland impact on the floodplain in the CNY State Fair ASCE booth. In summer 2015, I proposed a Piezoelectric Based Energy Educational Program and led the work with local high schools in the promotion of sustainable engineering. I prepared seminars on energy generation and consumption as a teaching assistant and allowed students to receive hands-on practices on building a generator to power up LEDs and learn about energy and sustainability. Additionally, this experience has greatly inspired me to pursue a higher degree in education in the field of sustainable engineering, in which I shall dedicate myself to educate more people about sustainability and build powerful networks with like-minded people internationally.

I would like to continue this ambition of mine in the Sustainable Building Systems Program at the Northeastern University. The Northeastern University is the first, and one of the few colleges offers a interdisciplinary degree in Civil Engineering and Architecture with a emphasize in the cutting-edge technologies for green building and social problem. I consider this program to a precious opportunity for professional advancement since Syracuse University does not offer such fields of study. It is my desire to have a chance to work under the provision of Dr. Sara Wadia-Fascetti and Dr. Matthew J. Eckelman, who are dedicated in sustainable infrastructure design, life cycle assessment and energy efficiency, and that my goal to achieve from this master's program is to build a computational model that optimize energy flow of the building modules with sustainable materials and energy. By perusing a master education degree in Illinois, I would be able to optimize my design and solve the social issues between development and energy conservation. In addition, the College of Engineering offers the unique work-study hands-on curriculum Engineering Leadership. I would take advantage of co-op positions push the engineering skills in real world and global content. With my background of LEED Green Associate and professional study in Sustainable Building Systems I would like to get certification of LEED BD+C. Also, I would like to found rising for continuing Piezoelectrical Education Program in Illinois and push it to another level by installing in the floor mat and investigating the energy harvest pattern.

I believe I will be successful in the Sustainable Building Systems Program at the Northeastern University with my strong academic background in sustainability and outstanding leadership responsibility and determination.

Wang, your essay has a total of 709 words in it. This is over the normal word allotment for a personal statement. Unless otherwise specified, a personal statement should not contain more than 500 words in it. A minimum word count of 250 -300 is usually sufficient enough to create an informative and interesting personal statement. You should work on reducing your word count. I will not, at this point, dictate which parts of your essay should be removed or rephrased in order to shorten the length of your work. That is something that you have to do yourself because you are the best person to judge which parts of this essay are irrelevant and just word fillers. I will only step in to edit the content after you have decided upon and removed the portions that you feel comfortable leaving out of the essay. You can judge what can be removed based upon the effect it has on the essay. If it does not alter the meaning of the personal statement or the information provided in the statement, then you can safely remove that part of the essay / paragraph. Look for the paragraphs whose information can be combined into a single paragraph. This will save the reviewer time when he scans your work for important details. By allowing him to focus on the most important information in combined paragraphs, you will lessen the need for him to read the whole essay, looking for important information.

It is wrong to say that you developed a passion for this field at Grade 8 but then did not get a serious inspiration to solve a problem related to it until you moved to another country. Try to reconcile the age of your interest with the time you decided there was a problem you wanted to solve. If possible, make this all happen within the time frame of your arrival in the U.S. Honestly, I think you should skip this part in this essay because there is a prompt specific for this purpose. It is the prompt about how you developed an interest in this field. Do you have a prompt similar to that to respond to as part of the common app requirements? If you do, then you can safely remove all references to the development of your interests and your accomplishments in this field. If not, then you have to summarize the information because the presentation is too long in this essay.

Since this is a personal statement, try to present your non academic personality as well. What kinds of activities do you enjoy doing outside of class? Do you do volunteer services? How about community service? How have these activities helped to shape your personality? What kind of personality would you say that you have?

When you write this kind of essay, aim to balance your academic accomplishments with your private side. That is because the essay should help the reviewer get to know the "personal" side of you. Who are you beyond being a student? What do you enjoy aside from academics? He has to get to know you as a well rounded person with varied interests that can help him adjust to and adapt to the world of college academics. The personal statement should be able to do that. Right now though, he is just getting to know more about your academic side. Show him the two sides to who you are in order to make this more effective as a personal statement.