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Swarthmore Essay... good or bad Idea? too cliche?



Cloudydream 1 / -  
Dec 29, 2008   #1
I'm kind of leery to put an entire essay here because it is the internet and I'm not sure I trust the ability to copy from an open website, so here is just the basics of one of my essays. I mostly just want to know if the idea I'm going with makes sense or if I should change it, grammar check isn't necessary.

Prompt: Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular.

In the pamphlet "The Usefulness of Uselessness"a professor of Art History at Swarthmore states, "The knowledge you learn about the subject of the course is its nominal Benefit - it is like the stated moral at the end of a fable," Like its courses, the story of Swarthmore consists of more than a moral . . . It relies on the characters that the reader has grown to know. It is the courses of action and setting that have engaged the reader. Swarthmore is the equivalent of a prize-winning story . . . It's setting has certainly caught my attention, as it is conveniently close to Philadelphia's history and opportunity, and the campus itself holds numerous inspiring views . . . The characters of Swarthmore are strongly dedicated to education and innovation. The people I have communicated with from Swarthmore have been friendly and just as determined to answer my questions as I was to ask them (and I was quite full of questions) . . .The moral of Swarthmore is clearly great - judging from its reputation and the achievements of its graduates and current students. All of these components inspire me to make Swarthmore a part of my own story.

The full thing has a lot more to it where I talk more about myself and how I relate to the school, but this blurb gives you the idea. so... good? bad?

EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Dec 30, 2008   #2
The fact that you've ellipsed out so much makes it difficult to critique the essay, but overall you seem to be on the right track.


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