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Taling a gap year: Common app question



junk 1 / 4  
Dec 31, 2010   #1
Taking a gap year after high school is a general trend among us, Budhanilkantha School graduates. And I too feel it a good thing to take a gap year. I learned a lot of things about science, nature and society in fourteen years of formal schooling. I learned about principles in physics, theories in biology and the civic duties in social science. Teachers used to say this knowledge would prepare us to lead the adult world.

The real world is full of challenge, beyond my imagination. All the areas like science, nature and living style are governed by ethics and politics. The world looks like an organized mess. People are free to speak but rarely are heard by others. The old people are full of experiences but there are hardly any youths to listen them. Books are full of knowledge but still the society is full of problems. Nothing is as perfect as an assumption in physics or theory in biology.

Gradually I learned to live with this society. I began to explore the opportunities in here. And I began to enjoy its imperfectness. I began working with the local club. Every weekend I evolve myself in community service- cleaning local park and temple, paying visits to Briddhashram (home to old and uncared ones), organizing sports events and so on. Gradually I involved myself in awareness campaigns like use of condoms to prevent HIV, sustainable use of resources, protection of natural heritages and use of alternative energy sources instead of petroleum. I joined an education consultancy, acting as an abroad study counselor. Here I have opportunity of celebrating diversity. People with different experiences and background come here seeking the advice about abroad studies. Here I have an opportunity to understand people, chisel my eloquence and nurture my leadership skills. In the mean time, I am acting as a tutor. I teach mathematics and science to a secondary school student. Being a teacher is a great thing. I learned the importance of patience, deep understanding of the subject and fluency to explain things.

I feel that I am spending my gap year in a productive ways. The techniques I am learning now will, for sure, help me in coming days. With these real life experiences, I find myself more matured every night I make the bed then that morning I left it.

theomgwtf 1 / 4  
Dec 31, 2010   #2
I don't really see a theme in your essay. There are plenty of grammar mistake---too many for me to point out. You should try to get a English teacher to help you with this.
OP junk 1 / 4  
Dec 31, 2010   #3
thanks for the suggestion,this is a rough draft. i will try to give it a meaning
dlanki - / 24  
Dec 31, 2010   #4
I felt feel it would be better to have first-hand experience of the world around. So I decided to take a gap year after my high school graduation.---tense

Being a teacher seems to be is a great thing--- stronger language

With these real life experiences, I find myself more matured matuaring with than every past passing second.

Please edit my gap year essay. ITS URGENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymoussenior 17 / 124  
Dec 31, 2010   #5
I felt I was closer to books and laboratories than society.

I feel it would be better to have first-hand experience of the world around. - the way you phrased this sentence it sounds like you should have some sort of comparison ex. I feel it would be better to have first- hand experience as opposed to immediately attending college after high school.

Although the society did not function as perfectly as a theory in science does, I gradually learned to live with it.

I began to explore the opportunities in here. And I began to enjoy its imperfectness. I began working with the local club. - three simple sentences in a row mainly beginning with I sounds choppy

Every weekend, I involved myself

cleaning local parks and temples

Briddhashram (home to old and uncared ones), - (assisted housing for seniors)

I involved myself in several awareness campaigns likesuch asuse of condoms to prevent HIV Get Yourself Tested, to increase HIV awareness....

and usage of alternative energy ....

as a study abroad counselor

Here I have the opportunity of to celebratethe diversity of

In the mean time, I am acting as a tutor. I teach mathematics and science to a secondary school student. - combine these two sentences.

Being a teacher seems to be a great thing - cut this sentence

As a teacher, I have learned the importance

With these real life experiences, I find myself more matured than every past second. - rewrite this sentence it sounds weird

After taking a gap year, I feel I am now fully prepared to experience life at Yale university.

You need to work on the sentence structure so that it is not just all simple sentences and you can not begin almost every sentence with the word I. You will also need to proof read some more because I am fairly certain I did not catch all of the errors.

Please read my returning to my life of academia Rochester essay it is only 117 words.


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