Teaching kids at Islamic Center of Brighton Beach; Common App / Extracurricular

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I don't even bother taking off my school uniform. I grab my bag and run to the community center thinking that I'm late. As I get there, I see twenty seven kids waiting for me and as usual, the twenty eighth one is talking. I settle in and ask them about their weekend. They all rush to respond with excitement and as usual, I repeat; "Let's not talk all at once, but raise our hands." I volunteer to teach seven to nine year olds at the Islamic Center of Brighton Beach. My students have given me something that I have never gotten before; the honor of being a teacher. This experience has made me play two roles; the role of an older sister; by giving advice to my students in need and the role of a teacher; by providing them with knowledge. I have built this certain connection with them that I don't even have with my siblings. I learned that teaching is not only about giving knowledge but also attaining knowledge. It's a double sided relationship between me and my students.

you tend to use smaller forms of words like don't and i'm. I would suggest using full words as smaller forms are considered incorrect in formal writing.

*elder sister, not older
My students have given me something that I have never gotten before: the honor of being a teacher
This experience has not only made me play the role of a teacher for providing them with knowledge, but also an elder sister for giving advice to the students in need.

I loved your essay. very well written. If you have more space i would suggest you to elaborate more on your feelings and what you have learned.

I believe the ending is "my students and I", but other than that its a well written essay :). I like your experience choice, volunteering, in how it relates to something you love and something that helps out the community.

talk more about its effect on you.

"...before; the honor..."
"...usual, I repeat; "Let's..."

Both should have a colon instead of a semicolon.