"Technological Advancement"; University of Wisconsin-Madison: Something Unnoticed

This is what I have so far for one of the University of Wisconsin-Madison application essays. The topic is something in your life that goes unnoticed and why it's important to you. Any help or suggestions for improvement?

Technological Advancement
No matter how stagnant the world seems to be, it is undeniable that we are advancing at an astonishing pace each and every day. Today, most people live their daily lives with commonplace gadgets such as cell phones, televisions, GPS, and more. However, none of these modern conveniences would have been thought possible just a century ago. The amount of innovation and progress made by mankind is staggering.

Even just the last two decades have seen world changing advancements. The Internet was just starting to be explored when my parents graduated high school. Now it is an essential tool for global communication, one that multi-billion dollar companies rely on for business. When I was in 4th grade a personal touch screen device like the iPad seemed like something taken straight out of a Star Wars movie. Now we use touch screen smartphones and tablets on a daily basis.

It is things like these that lead me to wonder about what the world will be like in ten, thirty, or even sixty years from now. Hearing about something like nuclear fusion becoming an energy source within the next twenty years is amazing. We make huge strides in research every day and are on the verge of countless discoveries and innovations. Not only will I be able to watch as the world advances, I have a chance to contribute to the ideas and research that make it happen. I can play a part in determining which objects of today's science fiction become reality tomorrow.

many grammatical mistakes, i believe you should start writing on general basis . do not write what you experience.(until its not opinion based essay)not even include the words like me i . try to focus on what people believe in . how technology advancement influence the people ..

Even just the last two decades (from last two decades/ even in last two decades )
and try to write in formal writing rather then informal ..

Trevor. you minunderstood the prompt that was given. You were supposed to discuss something about you as a person that you believe that goes unnoticed by others and yet it is something that is important to you. It is not about something in society that you believe goes unnoticed and why it is important to you. You have it the other way around :-) That said, the next step should be quite obvious. It is time for you to revise the essay to make it more prompt responsive.

Focus the essay response on a character trait of yours that you feel is a common part of your personality so you don't really pay attention to it when you do it. It should be something that is already second nature to you, but to other people, comes across as an important part of you who are. From that point, you can explain why other people view that character trait of yours as something important. That way, your response to the essay will be more proper.

The essay is not about obvious connections to our daily life, this is actually a character study about you and how other people perceive you to be :-)

Shoot. Back to the drawing board then. Thanks for pointing that out :)