Teen Court; Common App Extracurricular

This is my response to the following prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

With my head held high, I walked back into the courtroom and took my seat. The tension in the air was palpable as I sat with bated breath, waiting for the judge to read the verdict. For me, this was the reason I joined Teen Court as a juror. In this program, a jury composed of teenagers sentence first-time offenders of misdemeanors. When I first discovered the Teen Court of (insert city name), I eagerly decided to participate. By listening in on the hearings and contributing to the sentencing process, I developed a real appreciation for my civic duty, to serve as a jury member. Furthermore, the trials grant me the opportunity to absorb the inner workings of the legal system, a field in which I hope to pursue a career. Not only does Teen Court teach me about court cases, but it also allows me to discern why other teenagers feel the need to commit misdemeanors. Most importantly, though, Teen Court offers me the chance to help other teenagers move on from their mistakes.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Let me know if you would like me to edit any of your essays too. Thanks!

Great response! Clearly shows your personal liking for the legal process!

a jury composed of teenagers sentencing first-time offenders of misdemeanors.

I developed a real appreciation for my civic duty: to serve as a jury member.

great writing overall. i went to teen court couple times too haha

Looks great! I didn't find any grammatical errors. Well explained, good language :D

I think koliva223 basically covered it all with this one haha, just a couple things

In this program, a jury composed of teenagers sentences first-time offenders of misdemeanors.

By listening in on the hearings and contributing to the sentencing process, I developed a real appreciation for my civic duty, (just need to remove the comma as well here) as I served as a jury member.

Great essay! What needed to be revised has been revised by the previous comments. Good job!

Great Essay :) I think all the previous comments show the needed revises :p

I love how you wrote the beginning part and described the scene.

Good Job

Thanks for the help everyone! I really appreciate it.

Perhaps take out the 'for me'? We know that this response is personal. Overall, I think this is a really good response! It shows your passion for teen court well.

Take out the 'though' in your last sentence and you're set!

Awesome work.

Oh wow, I honestly can't pick at anything about this after you revised it. I think you're set to go!

I think this essay is great! It shows a lot of admirable qualities of your personality, such as wanting to be involved and help others, while tying in some of your academic interests. I can see your enthusiasm about Teen Court, and the essay remains genuine and free of any "buzz words." I have no criticisms--and this is something I don't say lightly. Great job and good luck!

Thanks for the feedback!