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Tennis has been my santuary and refuge of stres;Common App / Extracurricular activity


rteggroll 1 / -  
Dec 21, 2012   #1
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Sweat dripped down my racquet, I remember being down 0-5 in the first set thinking, "this (game-plan) isn't working, what can I try to break him down?" I varied my shots' depth, height, spin, and speed. Within the next game I found my opponent's weakness; a high and deep topspin ball to his backhand. I began to exploit his weakness stringing points together. The momentum shifted. I won the next 5 games with ease, and by the end of the match I had pulled out a come-back, 7-6 6-4. This match engenders what I love so much about tennis. The constant analysis, the on the fly adjustments I had to make to my game, and the perseverance are all part of what led to my victory. But tennis has been more than just a pastime with glory stories for me. It has been my sanctuary, a refuge of sorts from the stresses of the world. As I progress into college I hope to continue playing tennis whether for the school or intramural.

(922)
katev 18 / 120 24  
Dec 22, 2012   #2
Sweat dripped down my racquet,. I remember beingwas down 0-5 in the first set thinking, "this (game-plan)(doesn't need parenthesis) isn't working,.wW hat can I try to break him down?" I varied my shots'(do you mean you varied your shot technique? or you varied your following shots? If you mean that you varied your technique, you need "shot's." If you meant you varied the following shots, then you need to rearrange the sentence to say "You varied the depth, height... of my shots) depth, height, spin, and speed. Within the next game I found my opponent's weakness;: a high and deep topspin ball to his backhand. I began to exploit his weakness stringing points together. The momentum shifted. I won the next 5 games with ease, and by the end of the match I had pulled out a come-back, 7-6 6-4what does this mean? . This match engendersWhoa, drop the thesaurus. This is the wrong usage of this word. Try a different word, I'm not quite sure what you are meaning to say here. what I love so much about tennis. The constant analysis, the on the fly adjustments I had to make to my game, and the perseverance are all part of what led to my victory. But tennis has been more than just a pastime with glory storiesodd phrasing for me. It has been my sanctuary, a refuge of sorts, from the stresses of the world. As I progress into college, I hope to continue playing tennis whether for the school or intramural.

Good start. Plenty of people will write about tennis, though. What can you add to your essay that would allow someone to say "Only rteggroll has done/said/felt that." I know it's hard to think of an individualizing thing, but if you can add a touch that makes yours stand out amongst the thousands of tennis essays, that would be great for you! Also, end stronger. You bring up a good point, that tennis is your sanctuary, at the end. Follow through with that! There is a box for you to mark on the Common App that you want to play tennis in college, this essay is your chance to explain why. Wrap up your essay with how it is your sanctuary and make the adofficers want to have you continue that at their college!

If you could look at my Richmond supplement, that'd be so helpful!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 22, 2012   #3
I like what you've written... It reflects your engagement with Tennis very colorfully. However, it's good to pay attention what Katev said by;

Also, end stronger. You bring up a good point, that tennis is your sanctuary, at the end. Follow through with that!

I guess if you address this aspect, your essay would be one among the most unique ones :D
It'll give more life to this answer :)
Also you have an allowance of 78 words ... why not take advantage of it?
thespoonguy 6 / 23 1  
Dec 25, 2012   #4
i love playing tennis and relate with everything you say. well written! how about 'embodies' instead of 'engenders', or maybe portrays. consider katev's suggestions and you will have a really engaging essay


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