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Theater, LEAVING MYSELF BEHIND: CommonApp Short Answer, Extracurricular Activity



nishabala 4 / 91  
Oct 23, 2010   #1
Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).

LEAVING MYSELF BEHIND

We wait in the wings as a thousand expectant faces are mesmerized by the stage where the spotlight shines bright. There's a flash of the rainbow, dizzying motion, and in just a moment the intricate reality we created recedes into the dominion of dreams. But the world existed and we created it; and in the end, that's what really matters.

Theater has showed me how a whisper can be as effective as a holler; how a single step can mean more than a protracted sprint. It has taught me to slip into somebody else's skin, and see the world as they perceive; to cherish the parts that constitute a whole; and that to be right someone else doesn't have to be wrong. It has demonstrated both the power of a cohesive team and the value of preserving individuality in a team.

And ironically, with every step of leaving myself behind, I grow.

simbamaxxed 5 / 59  
Oct 23, 2010   #2
I think this is a really brilliant short answer.good job:)
OP nishabala 4 / 91  
Oct 23, 2010   #3
Thanks:). Anything you'd sugget I change?
simbamaxxed 5 / 59  
Oct 23, 2010   #4
Your second sentence is rather convoluted and wordy.I would aim for conciseness there.Otherwise it's perfect.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 27, 2010   #5
Theater has shown me how a whisper can be ...

Not much room for improvement, because it is written so well! But I'll tell you some ideas that came to mind for me:
...to see perceive the world as they perceive do; to cherish the parts that constitute a whole; and that to be right someone else doesn't have to be wrong. It has demonstrated both the power of a cohesive team and the value of preserving individuality in a team .


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