Track and Field; Extracurricular Common App Portion.

In high school track the most important thing to me. My senior year I was given the privilege of being one of the two track captains for the girls team and second semester my world revolved around track. I led warm-up drills at practice and track meets and served as an example for younger runners to follow. Our season started late January and went until the middle of May and as the time went by our track program started forming into a team. With a position of power comes responsibility and I learned about what it takes to be a leader and stand strong when others cannot. As a track captain I was allowed to explore and define myself as a leader. As our season drew to close and the teams focus shifted to the state meet it was a stressful time as a leader. The other captains and I had to constantly remind the team to push through the pain and stay focused through practice. We qualified about twenty girls to go to the state track meet and as we ran our last track meet of the season I felt so accomplished that with my help the team had come so far.

Any suggestions to improve?
Is the ending good enough?
The word limit hindered me so any suggestions on how to say more with less words will be much appreciated!

The content seems fine. Here are a few grammar issues to fix.





If you fix the grammatical errors I have outlined, I think the essay will be good enough. It's not really possible to critique you that much for ideas when it's just a general application essay about an extracurricular. You've discussed an extracurricular in as much detail as possible, so there's not really anything to criticize you on.

Fix the few minor errors and your essay should be in good shape!

Good luck!

Look at the third correction I made in my first post. You forgot to include the apostrophe in "team's", and you also did not include the comma after meet.

Other than that, everything else looks fine.

It's really good but I think that you should maybe give a little bit of background information before "As time went by, our track program started forming into a team as people began to put their differences aside." Other than that, good job! :)

the only thing is i have a 1000 character limit and what i have written is that so i cant really add anymore. Do you think i should take out something to give a background or leave it as is?

Oh, that's right! In that case, it's fine. Just leave it as is.