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Traditional loving and supportive upper-middle class family; UC -world you come from



Sharmasaagar 1 / -  
Nov 13, 2013   #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

All help is appreciated!

I find myself believing in the idea of destiny. We don't have control as to which family we are born in, where we live, or which school we go to; however, our future isn't predestined. It's our actions from there on out that truly define us and determine what is to come for our future. I come from a traditional loving and supportive upper-middle class family in a medium sized suburban area called Antioch here in the bay area. I am currently attending Deer Valley High School, a school which often faces the burden of a negative connotation for its student's horrendous actions. Since my first day at Deer Valley High School I've seen myself as the outlier of the group, not at a social level, but intellectually. I found that the goals of my peers and I were on two extreme opposites. Yet that very idea sets my motivations into overdrive. The thought of being average scared me. At that time, I knew business was the path for me because it would give me the opportunity to branch out on my own; however I didn't quite know what field I wanted to join. My parents are actually franchise owners of Popeye's Louisiana Chicken & Biscuits along with UPS Stores, after gaining work experience and learning the job along with managerial processes, I knew quick service retail wasn't exactly my forte. I knew where I did shine, I knew what fit my mold regarding society's standards, and that was computers. A few summers ago, I watched a few videos regarding Java and the diverse amount of programs that could be created using complex algorithms. I've been in love ever since. As to regards to the question, how has my world shaped me, I would answer it by saying it's given me a plan for my future. I am determined on getting my degree in computer science, starting my own I.T. Company, and in time, go public.

joanna2587 2 / 9  
Nov 13, 2013   #2
Great work!
it would be better essay if you give more specific events :)
dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 27, 2013   #3
Well, I think the following caption I took from a website would be helpful for you to check whether your response is in line with this prompt;

- "World" is a versatile term. The prompt gives "your family, community and school" as examples of possible "worlds," but they are just three examples. Where is it that you truly live? What really makes up your "world"? Is it your team? The local animal shelter? Your grandmother's kitchen table? Your church? The pages of a book? Someplace where your imagination likes to wander?

- Focus on that word "how." How has your world shaped you? The prompt is asking you to be analytical and introspective. It is asking you to connect your environment to your identity. It is asking you to project forward and imagine your future. The best responses to prompt #1 highlight your analytical abilities.

- Avoid the obvious. If you write about your family or school, it's easy to focus on that teacher or parent who pushed you to excel. This isn't necessarily a bad approach to the essay, but make sure you provide enough specific details to paint a true portrait of yourself. Thousands of students could write an essay about how their supportive parents helped them succeed. Make sure your essay is about you and isn't something that thousands of other students could have written.

- Your "world" doesn't have to be a pretty place. Adversity sometimes shapes us more than positive experiences. If your world has been filled with challenges, feel free to write about them. You never want to sound like you are whining or complaining, but a good essay can explore how negative environmental forces have defined who you are.

- Stay on target. You have just 1,000 words with which to answer prompts #1 and #2. That's not much space. Make sure every word you write is necessary. Keep these 5 essay tips in mind, follow these suggestions for improving your essay's style, and cut anything in your essay that isn't defining your "world" and explaining "how" that world has defined you


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