I need some feedback on this particular topic, and if my essay makes sense and covers what's necessary. Thanks! :)
Topic: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
My reply:
At times in life there is a pivotal moment where a decision is needed that is so important that it serves as a turning point to define the rest of one's life. I came across mine in the winter of 2008 when I was fifteen years old. It was the month of December, and that year it represented the Hajj season. In the Islamic religion, this is when a Muslim makes pilgrimage to Makkah and performs certain religious rites if they have the capacity. My parents had long wanted to go, but found themselves tied back due to the fact that my siblings and I were too young.
This year was different. I was older, more responsible and homeschooled - which provided a unique window of opportunity. Yet after many fervent discussions, the conclusion was that it would be impossible. The naysayers were far too many and the risks too high. I vehemently disagreed and that night I took to writing with shaking fingers and a palpitating heart a long letter compelling them to go and reassuring their belief and trust in me, penning everything I was too nervous to say.
The emotions I poured forth had their desired effect and a month later I found myself bidding my parents farewell and welcoming my own journey of independence. For two months I would be in charge of my younger siblings, aged three, seven and eleven and I relished the thought of complete power.
My adult cousin had moved in to ensure our safety, but her antipathy towards children resulted in locking herself within the master bedroom away from all family affairs. Thus, the first night, I found myself trying to clothe and put to bed a cranky toddler all alone. What began as a tantrum soon escalated into shrieks and wails which reverberated off the walls and seemed unending.
I felt helpless and lost; he wanted a mother I couldn't give him and no matter how long I rocked and sang it had no effect. For three nights he cried himself to sleep in my arms, and for those three nights I simply held on and prayed. The fourth night, I braced for the onslaught of what was to come, held him in my arms once again while telling him a bedtime story, only to find what I'd least expected: silence. He simply wrapped his arms around me, closed his eyes and gave me his tacit acceptance. What he didn't know was that by it, I was transformed.
I had weathered the eye of the storm and come through to the calm, and now whatever came after, I knew I had the strength to continue and pull through. And that is exactly what I did.
I took everything one day at a time, juggling my full-time online classes which required six hours of real-time participation, with now finding myself responsible for these three young children who depended on me for everything. From potty training, to making snacks and activities, to watching after homework, settling disputes, cooking dinner, washing dishes, and all those small things you never notice until they're not done, it was my sole responsibility . My cousin served to bring the weekly groceries but otherwise stood aloof from the domesticity of our daily lives, leaving me drained, emotionally and physically, but I was determined to preserve till the end.
After two months when my parents returned it was as though their regard for me completely altered. They saw the change in my eyes from the experience only life could teach and from my part - I felt invincible. I no longer had those fears of childhood, of not being able to do something because of the scope of the challenge. My boundaries had expanded and I knew with absolute clarity that this was a precipice which I had stepped over and things would never be the same.
Topic: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
My reply:
At times in life there is a pivotal moment where a decision is needed that is so important that it serves as a turning point to define the rest of one's life. I came across mine in the winter of 2008 when I was fifteen years old. It was the month of December, and that year it represented the Hajj season. In the Islamic religion, this is when a Muslim makes pilgrimage to Makkah and performs certain religious rites if they have the capacity. My parents had long wanted to go, but found themselves tied back due to the fact that my siblings and I were too young.
This year was different. I was older, more responsible and homeschooled - which provided a unique window of opportunity. Yet after many fervent discussions, the conclusion was that it would be impossible. The naysayers were far too many and the risks too high. I vehemently disagreed and that night I took to writing with shaking fingers and a palpitating heart a long letter compelling them to go and reassuring their belief and trust in me, penning everything I was too nervous to say.
The emotions I poured forth had their desired effect and a month later I found myself bidding my parents farewell and welcoming my own journey of independence. For two months I would be in charge of my younger siblings, aged three, seven and eleven and I relished the thought of complete power.
My adult cousin had moved in to ensure our safety, but her antipathy towards children resulted in locking herself within the master bedroom away from all family affairs. Thus, the first night, I found myself trying to clothe and put to bed a cranky toddler all alone. What began as a tantrum soon escalated into shrieks and wails which reverberated off the walls and seemed unending.
I felt helpless and lost; he wanted a mother I couldn't give him and no matter how long I rocked and sang it had no effect. For three nights he cried himself to sleep in my arms, and for those three nights I simply held on and prayed. The fourth night, I braced for the onslaught of what was to come, held him in my arms once again while telling him a bedtime story, only to find what I'd least expected: silence. He simply wrapped his arms around me, closed his eyes and gave me his tacit acceptance. What he didn't know was that by it, I was transformed.
I had weathered the eye of the storm and come through to the calm, and now whatever came after, I knew I had the strength to continue and pull through. And that is exactly what I did.
I took everything one day at a time, juggling my full-time online classes which required six hours of real-time participation, with now finding myself responsible for these three young children who depended on me for everything. From potty training, to making snacks and activities, to watching after homework, settling disputes, cooking dinner, washing dishes, and all those small things you never notice until they're not done, it was my sole responsibility . My cousin served to bring the weekly groceries but otherwise stood aloof from the domesticity of our daily lives, leaving me drained, emotionally and physically, but I was determined to preserve till the end.
After two months when my parents returned it was as though their regard for me completely altered. They saw the change in my eyes from the experience only life could teach and from my part - I felt invincible. I no longer had those fears of childhood, of not being able to do something because of the scope of the challenge. My boundaries had expanded and I knew with absolute clarity that this was a precipice which I had stepped over and things would never be the same.
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