I have tried to be the best son in the world (applying to some IVY schools)

Saying is one thing and doing another.
I always say to my parents that I love them, but I made them unhappy many times. I always try to hide my bad grade and sometimes lie to them to make them happy only at the moment. Before I had left to America, I never knew that family takes the biggest part of my heart. First few weeks after I was in America, I was really happy to get out of parents' eyes and I was having a hard time to adjust new environment: American high school and English society. After a month, I felt that I lost big protective boundary that defense me from outer world. I had to overcome and make through my life without the family boundary. Since then, I have tried to be the best son in the world.

-I will apply some IVY schools. please feel free to make correction and give suggestion to make better sentences.

I don't know other ones, but...
Before I had left for America,
I think 'for' will be better. 'for' shows direction.

good luck~~

how about structure, flow and sentence development?
thx monicaho

It's too much telling, and meanwhile does not say what you did. I suggest you to write a new one, just pick one activity in your EC list.

i want to express how i feel about my family love.
ur opinion is rewriting specific example and express my feeling. Right?

Hi.

I love my family too, but if I were you, I would probably have elaborated a little bit more rather than just writing some things that is general enough to describe the other 4765 students going to America each year.

Show them how you have tried to become the best son, what you have learned, and how you, or your love for your family, have changed. Including these will make your essay much stronger, unique and clearer. Deliver your thoughts to them and show them the way you feel.

Is this your commons application essay? If not then I think I am mistaken.

G L~

I always try to hide my bad grades, and sometimes lied to them to make them happy only for a moment.

Before I had left to go to America, I never knew that family takes the biggest part of my heart. ---- good sentence!!!

During my first few weeks after I was in America, I was really ...

I like your ideas! Keep practicing, because you had some verb tense mistakes, but I think you are doing very well! How long is your essay supposed to be?

less than 150 it's for short answer essay.
i appreciate ur help and cheering.^;)

I'm not quite sure if you can write about the love to your family in an essay of one activity or work experience. What you showed here seems to be a whole process.

Just my 2 cent