How my trip aborad helped me relized shelteredness - Common app short answer

In the weeks I was in Nicaragua, I witnessed much. I observed a thirteen year old mother breast feed while sniffing shoe-glue to get high. I looked on as a ring of excited patrons at the bull fight gathered around a freshly gored man. I watched a crowd of motorists, eager to take pictures of the dead from car accident, form on the roadside. I was shocked and appalled at the daily life I saw. Though I had always known that the land of my mother and the land of mine were very different, I never expected to be so jarred. This stark contrast revealed to me just how sheltered I was in the United States, and it is through this that I found a need to take action in global issues.

CRITIQUE COMMENT PLEASE

Interesting experience.

Your last sentence represents quite a jump. I'm sure it wasn't that essay. It would be nice if the reader had some of the intermediate steps you too in realizing that you had a need to take action on global issues. The way it's written, it's just hardly believable.