I always try staying responsible for the actions I take and the words I speak - my father influence

In such an egocentric environment we dwell in, we are prone to thinking that responsibility is rather an unnecessary factor in making us succeed in life. I was not an exception. Yet, my father has altered my way of looking at the world. Having been raised under highly responsible father, I have always witnessed him keeping his words and staying accountable for the actions that he takes. He would never blame others for faults or take actions that are immoral. As a child, I would watch him and would try to stay as responsible as he was and still try to do so now. Thus, I can certainly articulate that his responsible actions had influenced me in a positive way.

When I was a kid, I was one of those children who would never take part in group projects assigned to us in school. Believing that my partners would do my work, I would always depend on them to make my grades for me. With almost no participation, I would receive high grades on group projects and feel no sense of guilt. I would make fun of those who worked industriously to earn their grades because to me, they seemed as if they were toiling on the work that other people would eventually do for them. Obviously, I was wrong because I did not recognize the importance of being responsible then.

After returning home with a perfect grade on a group project made by my group members, I would tell my father how they stupid they were for doing all the work for me. Looking somewhat shocked but not losing his temper, he lectured me on the significance of responsibility. He commented that if everyone thought the way I did, our world would be in total chaos. He stated that no one would even try doing the work allotted to them, because they might think that others would finish the duty for them. He remarked that sometimes he also wants to just quit working on his duty and come home. However, he asserted that if he does not cope with the work assigned to him, the whole company could be at risk, making the problem even worse. At first, I was puzzled by his remarks, because I thought that one person not doing his work would not make a whole lot of difference to the group. However, it seemed that if more and more people leave their duty to other people, our society would be extremely inefficient. Thus, after talking with him about the importance of being responsible for the actions that one takes, his teachings started making sense to me. Apparently, he had succeeded in enlightening me with the lessons that could not be learned somewhere else.

I felt completely fresh the next day. I first apologized to my friends for being so irresponsible for the work assigned to me. The next time we were given a group project, I was totally a different person. After finishing the duty assigned to me, I would go around looking for people seeking my help. Also, when I saw a group member not doing his work, I would deliver the lecture like my father had done to me in the past. My father had not only influenced me but also the whole classroom.

To this day, I always try staying responsible for the actions I take and the words I speak. For example, if I make a promise, I try my best not to break it because I have made an oath and not keeping it would disappoint not only me but those who have faith in me. Also, I never do things that I know are definitely immoral like littering on the ground. By being responsible, I believe I contribute to the well-being of our community. To sum up, my father has influenced me with his especially responsible character and I really thank him for doing so.

Help is desperately needed. Thanks:)

One thing I noticed throughout your essay was the wordiness. You could cut some of the adjectives out and focus more on the verbs/nouns. For example,

Living in such such an egocentric environment we dwell in , we are prone to thinking that responsibility is rather an unnecessary factor for inmaking us succeed in lifesuccess .

Also, your last sentence is rather weak.
"To sum up, my father has influenced me with his especially responsible character and I really thank him for doing so. "

It sounds like the conclusion of the stereotypical 5 paragraph formal essay. Try to think of a more unique way to end the essay; you want to leave the reader with a better impression.

Edited to add...Whether or not I'm justified in saying this, the topic you chose to write about seems cliche and overused. It doesn't really offer anything unique about yourself, and it doesn't tell the admins much about yourself that would make them take special interest in you. Do you feel like this piece represents all you have to offer? After all, you will be potentially submitting it to every single college you apply to.

Who is this "we" you are referring to? Who manages to make it through twelve years of school without teachers berating them on the importance of responsibility? For that matter, who has parents who don't emphasize this over and over?


"Yet?" As if this is somehow a surprise. Do you have any idea how common a pick "my father" is for this essay?

And this really is the main problem with your essay. It isn't very original, and is the sort of thing that just about any student could have written. Worse, you don't come off looking very good, needing someone to point out the obvious, that goofing off and free-riding is socially unacceptable. And while you have a fairly strong narrative that shows us how irresponsible your were, you dedicate only a couple of sentences to telling us how you've changed. If you are going to stick with this topic, you need to reverse that -- tell us quickly how you used to be irresponsible, then show us in detail how you are now well and truly reformed.