'tutoring sciences and mathematics' - Extracurricular short answer

My extracurricular will be Tutoring. This is my answer:

"One of my favorite extracurricular activities is tutoring sciences and mathematics. After my college courses at Miami Dade College, I spend my time in the library aiding people with their poor comprehension of their science or mathematic courses. It is very rewarding being able to help others having trouble with their academic courses. The subjects I mentor my fellow students in include general chemistry, biology, and every level of math until Calculus II. To me, tutoring is a way of relearning everything and a way to change the way I see the subject in different ways. This is very beneficial and it is the reason why I enjoy doing it. By Tutoring, I am able to interact with different students and learn how to communicate better. Doing so, I also learn different teaching methods and different ways to get my point straight with different subjects."

Please respond quick any feedback is good :]

"This is very beneficial and it is the reason why I enjoy doing it."
This sentence is sort of redundant; you could take it out.

Also may do a little more showing and less telling. Your essay is direct and straight-to-the-point but maybe add in a descriptive anecdote to illustrate your point.

I agree with sushilife above. Your response is straight-to-the-point, but needs to show more to leave a lasting impact on readers. Right now, it sounds like a bullet list.

Take this line for example:


Try add some depth; how is it rewarding? Could you illustrate it?

Or, you could try cutting out this line:


(A detailed list of what subjects you teach is not really necessary)
That way, your sentences flow more smoothly.

It is very rewarding being able to help others having trouble with their academic courses. The subjects I mentor my fellow students in include general chemistry, biology, and every level of math until Calculus II. To me, tutoring is a way of relearning everything and a way to change the way I see the subject in different ways(You may want to revise this; that's too many "way"s in the same sentence) . This is very beneficial and it is the reason why I enjoy doing it(Again, try to show how it is beneficial and how you enjoy it) . By Tutoring, I am able to interact with different students and learn how to communicate better. Doing so, I also learn different teaching methods and different ways to get my point straight with different subjects."

Hope this helps!

Thank you so much both of you. Anything helps. There is a reason why i said sciences and mathematics. lol
Haha sadly i thought it was already with details xD. I just really don't know how to write very detailed. I'll rewrite all that little section soon.