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Two Months in Peru



Lorena21 1 / 4  
Oct 4, 2009   #1
Prompt:
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

Half a decade ago might as well have been yesterday, as my mind submerges into a pool of crystallized memories from those two months I spent in Peru. Every parent wants the best for their child, which is why mine decided to ship me 2500 miles away to study at a school during my precious vacation time. Through the eyes of a twelve year old, this idea seemed utterly ridiculous and unfair. However, I have come to understand the value behind this life-changing experience. My maturing eyes now witness the way in which it has provided me with a newfound sense of independence and a better appreciation of the education I receive. No longer will I be left defenseless, facing the fears and challenges that the impending future imposes; through this experience I have cultivated my weapon of preparation.

Being on a plane for six hours and arriving in a foreign country without anyone but myself was terrifying. My parents' voices replayed through my head as their echoes reassured me that this was for my "own good." Although most of my family lived in Peru, where I was going was nowhere near their comforting presence. Thus, my challenge had begun. My original purpose for traveling to Peru was to enrich my knowledge and improve my Spanish, but I soon became aware of another motive: to overcome the fear of living without my parents. The head of the school was my aunt, which should have relieved some anxiety, except that she was a stranger to me. The emotional distress became so profound, I called my parents to demand my return home. Before I could say anything, however, my mother expressed how proud she was of me for doing this, with pure satisfaction ringing in her voice. I could feel the glow of her pride radiating from the phone; it was almost tangible. That was the moment I decided to stay and finish what I had started.

Time really does heal all wounds because I grew to cherish this rewarding experience. I learned to take initiative for myself, such as cleaning my room, doing laundry, cooking, and working on homework, without being told to do so. My self-motivation and decision-making skills began to develop extensively from here. I also became devoted to my education and shortly realized it is a privilege, not a right. Living in a third world country with poverty dominating the streets opened my eyes to an unfamiliar life where few educational institutions exist. I noticed this underprivileged society did not have the resources to reconstruct their country due to the lack of education, which helped me realize how powerful a tool it can be. Not only is education the key that will open most doors in the path of life, but also the basis for lifelong learning.

My experience in Peru enabled me to acquire new responsibilities: as a student and an individual. It has given me a desire to seek knowledge for myself and fulfill my potential, ultimately preparing me for the beginning of this new chapter in my life.

EF_Simone 2 / 1974  
Oct 4, 2009   #2
Half a decade ago might as well have been yesterday, as my mind submerges into a pool of crystallized memories from those two months I spent in Peru.

This is a bit much. Imagery is good, but "my mind submerges into a pool of crystallized memories" is a bit extreme for thinking back on a time when you learned to do your own laundry.

That said, this story does serve the purpose specified by the prompt.
OP Lorena21 1 / 4  
Oct 4, 2009   #3
Okay, thank you very much! I'm going to change it now.
Jayp91 2 / 3  
Oct 10, 2009   #4
Wow your essay is fantastic!
I did take your advice concerning the quote at the begenning of essays. Thanks!
OP Lorena21 1 / 4  
Oct 11, 2009   #5
thank you! i tried hard not to make it sound too boring. and you're welcome, im glad my advice helped :)
Aristae 2 / 6  
Oct 15, 2009   #6
Sounds like you got an interesting prompt. I'm looking forward to reading it when your finished with the essay. Good job!


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