Describe your typical day
I am 27 words over the 300 words
Dragging my overworked self to my car after finishing a prolonged day of school, I grab my car keys from my side pocket of my backpack. I twirl them around my finger while dreading about my upcoming SAT practice tests, couple of AP essays and exams, and my college essays. I drive home pondering and organizing all my thoughts into an ideal schedule that I try to abide by. By the time I get home, I'm on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion. Like a paperclip exposed to a powerful magnet, I feel a strong urge to crash into bed and take what I think is a power nap, but in reality it's me snoozing for roughly two to three hours. I have been known to be an avid sleeper and my sleeping habits have notoriously followed me all throughout high school.
I was aware of myself wasting my precious time on fruitless slumber, when I could've been working and catching up on my AP schedule. So, to try to get away from my obsession of lethargy, I offer myself a distraction- a hobby of playing piano. After school, I am excited to go home and attempt some of my favorite songs that I have been yearning to play all day. On my bench in front of the piano, I spend over an hour everyday practicing alone, honing my skills learning songs that I adore and wholesomely enjoy. From an hour of designated practice of a hobby that I fully embrace, I start my afternoon with a mindset of being proactive. Like replenishing a life in a game, I start my afternoon full of zeal and vitality.
I head upstairs feeling pumped and ready to do some work. I'm always determined to accomplish more than what I've finished at school. From finishing a couple of SAT sections to writing an essay for AP World, I end my day feeling triumphant over my day.
Before looking at the edits, is this for an entrance essay? You may want to rewrite this essay in a more enlightening manner if it is. At the moment, by the time the reader gets to the point of you being recharged, and ready to work, it seems like you acknowledge the laziness and procrastination, but do nothing about it. For a college entrance essay you want to sound more appealing as a prospective student.
This is 300 words exactly with the edits.
... SAT practice tests, couple of AP essays ... I drive home pondering and organizing all my thoughts and planning my into an ideal schedule that I try to abide by.
.., when I could've could have been working ... So, to try to get away from ...
... songs that I adore and wholesomely enjoy. ... practice of a hobby that I fully embrace, I start ... Like replenishing a my life in a game, I start my ...
... more than what I've finished at school. ... feeling triumphant over my day.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15384 Joseph, do not use a typical academic day for this essay. You are being asked to describe a typical day for you on a weekend, outside of the academic setting. The typical academic day will not allow the reviewer to get to know what other interests you have other than those related to schoolwork and limits your description of your after school activities to only a few hours of daylight before bed. The reviewer wants to know how you spend your waking hours when not being kept in school for most of the day. The idea is for the essay to allow you to show all of your interests, hobbies, and other pursuits. While you did mention piano playing in the essay, it is not really threshed out. What do you do when academics do not interfere with your schedule? Who are you beyond the classroom? You should consider building up the reference topics you use in paragraphs 2 and 3 in relation to piano playing and SAT preparations. Think outside of the academic highlights. Procrastination will not be taken against you in the essay. That is part of your life, specially on weekends. Be truthful. Don't tell the reviewer what you know he wants to hear, tell him about who you really are, beyond school.