Beyond rankings, location, and athletics, why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech? (150-word max)
I personally believe that a student cannot properly learn unless they are allowed to apply the concepts they are taught. I desire an institution that not only teaches students necessary skills and information, but also supports them in taking that knowledge to the next level and utilizing it before they even graduate. Through my recent visit, I learned more about the Coop program that allows students to jump into their career before they even graduate. Not only does it stand out to future employers, it also allows a student to discover if a specific field is truly for them as well as how they will utilize their knowledge after they graduate. I also was informed about the Center for Academic Success that provides many tutoring opportunities, workshops, and programs that are oriented toward helping students learn to succeed by themselves, but also providing help when it is needed.
+ a student cannot properly learn unless they are allowed ... => students
+ ... not only teaches studentsnecessary skills and information, but also supports them... => Not only do students need to teach
+ Not only does it stand out to future employers... =>> you should spend less "not only...but also" structures because they emphasis the meaning, and in a paragraph, using them more than once is not essential, the same with the word "they" =>> students, learners, people. =>>> Not only does it (...), but also allows students to discover if a specific field is suitable and how they will utilize their knowledge after graduating.
Jacob, your response is good. It carries all of the required elements of a properly developed statement. However, the positioning of your sentences are not effective. I suggest that you reformat the essay sentences in order to clear a certainty in your presentation that does not currently exist. Make the sentence that states; Through my recent visit... up to sentence that ends with; "...when it is needed." your opening salvo instead. Place the personal sentiment about; "I personally believe...", till; "they even graduate." your closing lines instead. Reversing the position of the sentence presentations creates a better response to the question. The new opening line immediately indicates why you chose Georgia Tech. The closing lines, offer a personal reason for choosing Georgia Tech that aligns with the teaching method of the university. When combined, it creates a far more personal and academic approach to the method by which you chose this university.