UCF "Bump in the Road" (Experimental Drugs)

Hi there, here is the question: If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.

My essay:

EXPERIMENTAL DRUG USE

In my junior year, my best friend started to experiment with drugs. I expressed my concern to her about the issue, but she reassured me that it was only once, and she just wanted to try it. I didn't agree, but I felt that it was her decision and trusted her when she said it would only be once. In a matter of weeks she went from being a smart, good student to skipping classes and doing drugs every day. I was stumped on what to do. Was this only a phase? Should I tell her mother? After she had missed school for a week I decided that it was important for me, as her best friend, to tell her mom what she was doing. The day I got up the courage to tell her mother, I told her that her daughter had started taking drugs, and that I was terribly sorry for not informing her earlier, but I felt as though it had become a problem. To my complete shock, she simply said that she was aware of what was going on and thanked me for letting her know. After that, I felt as though the problem would be taken care of, and that even if my friend was angry with me, she would thank me later. Unfortunately, the talk I had with her mother did absolutely nothing. By the end of the school year, my friend had officially lost all of her friends and dropped out of school. As much as it hurt me to see her go through this downfall, I knew I had done all that I could have to save her from herself. For me, losing my best friend to drugs was the hardest thing that has happened in my life.

Before you critique, I also have a question, the instructions on the essay portion are as follows:

but, my first essay is about 270 words and this one is around 300 - should i shorten this essay to make them both together be less than 500 words, or is the fact that my character limit does not exceed 7000 characters okay?

thank you all so much! :)

By the end of the school year, my friend had officially lost all of her friends and dropped out of school.

(Unless there was some sort of ceremony, there was nothing official about the loss of her friends.


No, because even as it stands it does not answer the question. You've described the "bump" and how you initially responded but not answered the key question of how you have adjusted to this and how it will affect you into the future. Do you now wish, for example, that you had taken direct action with your friend once you saw that simply trusting her mother to do something was not an effective course of action? What would you do differently if a college friend began using drugs?

Honestly, this essay is more about your friend than yourself. With this prompt you're supposed to explain an obstacle in your life, and how you overcame it and became a better person yet you talk mroe about your friend than you. you're supposed to show yourself off to the college, and let them know mroe about you, not your friend. So try to fix that

Okay, thank you :) However, when I add all that in it will be much longer I'm assuming - if it still doesn't exceed 7,000 characters, should I just leave it?

^I think everyone here has helped establish the fact taht this is a bump in the road for your friend, rather than yourself. In no way, does this experience appear to have affected you academically or personally. Therefore, the best advice I can give for this particular essay is to start over.