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UCF ENTRANCE (family history, culture, enviornment)



ErickCo19 1 / -  
Sep 16, 2009   #1
How has your family history, culture or environment influence who you are?

Coming to the USA at the age of eight didn't exactly make sense in my mind, but according to my parents it was a choice that needed to be made. All they ever wanted was a better future for my sister and I, and up until now I've realized that they were right. Had I grown up in my native land of Colombia I would have never gotten the chance to be my own person and decide my own future. Ever since I got off the plane my parents told me that if I ever wanted to do what I wanted and have a good future,this was the place to do it. I've gotten the opportunity to be involved in things I would have never even imagine existed including school sports and clubs but not everything was perfect. Going back and forth between jobs and fighting over sharing a bed with my sister was a common thing growing up in Miami but as time went on I realized that i needed to stay positive and maintain my priorities and goals in life in order. My parents always told me to push myself to the limits and without them and their support I can honestly say I wouldn't be writing this essay today. I've accostumed myself to have a positive outlook on life and to always keep moving forward. I've had many great experiences in this country but I will always remember who I am and all the hard work it took to get here. I tend to surprise people when given a chance. I love doing the impossible and proving people wrong, all it takes is a chance. Thank you for your time and I hope you consider me a future member of the UCF family.

Llamapoop123 7 / 433  
Sep 16, 2009   #2
Had I grown up in my native land of Colombia I would have never gotten the chance to be my own person and decide my own future. Ever since I got off the plane my parents told me that if I ever wanted to do what I wanted and have a good future,this was the place to do it.

^Colombia forces you to submit to the will of others?

Most of your essay is just so plain and really really unspecific. The reader really does not get to know who you are after reading this essay.
EF_Sean 6 / 3459  
Sep 16, 2009   #3
Yep, this essay is a dull as nails that have had their points filed down until they have become rather dull. What specifically about your Columbian heritage has shaped who you are? What narrative incident can you use to show this? How will this allow you to contribute to UCF?
EF_Simone 2 / 1974  
Sep 16, 2009   #4
Perhaps if you said more about why your family relocated, that would help. Also, perhaps you could show us the United States through your 8 year-old eyes and then again through your 18 year-old eyes. Then tell us how that shift shaped you.
Amichaelg91 2 / 3  
Sep 20, 2009   #5
Explain more of how you changed since you've moved. Good essay though.


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