WHY UIC? - 'a house built on the rock'

Copyright2011 by Jiyoung Han. This essay content is property of Jiyoung Han. This essay cannot be used without permission of Jiyoung Han.
Written at 06:16 09-12-2011, Suncheon City, JeollaNamdo, ROK / Jiyoungmichellehan@gmail.com

Hello, everyone. How are you doing today? I hope you all are doing fine! =)
For me, I'm tied-up, because I'm working on with my college application essay.
I've just completed with the essay question 2 which is kind of "WHY us?" essay.
My deadline is soon.. so please help me with revision, grammer check or comment anyone?
I REALLY need your help , and THANK YOU SO MUCH in advnace !!!

※ Essay Question 2 (250 words or less)
The Underwood International College is an all-English liberal arts college located within a Korean university. UIC offers a truly multinational experience, with students and faculty from all over the world. As a relatively new college, UIC/ASP is always thinking of ways to define itself and its educational mission. In your view, what makes UIC/ASP an interesting or unique place? As a potential student here, what would you bring to UIC/ASP, and why is UIC/ASP your college of choice?

I define UIC as 'a house built on the rock'. As a new college of Yonsei University, UIC envisions new paradigm of undergraduate education by offering its liberal art education. When I first attracted to apply to UIC, what weight upon my mind was about instability that UIC might have as a newly established college. However, researching on UIC, I found out that UIC can both take advantages of both being newly established college and being located in Korea's historic Yonsei University.

As a prospective PSIR student in UIC, I believe UIC will fulfill my expectation of university life. Professors at UIC, who are prominent scholars in their academic areas, will provide me the top level of education in Korea with English lectures. Moreover, seminars taught by notable visiting professors such as Nobel Prize laureate will allow me to study not only familiar fields but unfamiliar fields, showing me the big picture of my future career. Also, international student body will teach me the better understanding and cooperation with different people and cultures.

I've strived to define what diversity means in my life. Academically, I've tried to experience various fields such as debating, writing articles in history magazine, working on news alert team for Earth hour event, etc. Also, my exchange student year to US in area where most population was African-American had changed my view towards the world, and redefined my 'diversity'. Still, my travel of 'diversity' has never ended, and I hope to continue this path in UIC.

I define UIC as 'a house built on the rock'. As a new college of Yonsei University, UIC envisions new paradigm of undergraduate education by offering its liberal art education.

When I was first attracted to UIC , what weighed upon my mind was the instability that UIC might have as a newly established college.

-- This sentence is structured very strangely. I would find a new way to state the point of it. Maybe :

When I was first attracted to UIC, the possible instability as a newly established college was a worrisome factor.

However, after doing research on UIC , I found out that UIC has the advantages of being a newly established college and being located in Korea's historic Yonsei University.

As a prospective PSIR student at UIC, I believe UIC will fulfill my expectation of university life. Professors at UIC, who are prominent scholars in their academic areas, will provide the top level education in Korea with English lectures .

Moreover, seminars taught by notable visiting professors, such as a Nobel Prize laureate, will allow me to study not only familiar fields but unfamiliar fields, showing me the big picture of my future career.

Also, the international student body will teach me the better understanding and cooperation with different people and cultures.
I've strived to define what diversity means in my life. Academically, I've tried to experience various fields such as debating, writing articles in a history magazine, working on a news alert team for Earth hour event, etc.

Also, my exchange student year in the US in an area with a primarily African-American population changed my view towards the world and redefined my 'diversity'.