Prompt: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience, or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
My essay:
All this year in my life tennis was my main sport. The reason to this was by watching Roger Federer's elegance playing style, manner, sportsmanship, and the way he covers his facial expressions and emotions during the match. I learned many lessons by watching Federer's game such as concentration and endurance during our task. Federer does that so well, and I think that's the reason why he won so many matches in his career. But there was one thing that hindered me from becoming a better tennis player. I received the genetics from my father, which was being born as a flat feet. It was a difficult task to overcome the pain, since none of my friends on the tennis team were flat feet; therefore I wasn't a fast runner than anyone else or a better player. I was junior varsity captain during my sophomore year, but due to my flat feet, I couldn't acquire enough confidence to surpass from junior varsity to varsity.
An inspiring figure supported me to overcome the pain of being flat feet. His name was, Park Ji Sung a great South Korean soccer player currently in Manchester United. He's a flat footed soccer player who represents South Korea in the Premier League. As I was surfing through the internet I somehow saw "Park Ji Sung, a great player from Manchester United scored first goal." As I was reading the article, I saw a picture of his ugly and wounds covered feet. I shed in tears by seeing the picture because I was touched for not being alone as a flat feet, and he showed me the path of exceeding my confidence. My two idols gave me strength and endurance to become varsity captain during my junior year. Flat feet are a reliable gift to me.
I require harsh comments to improve my essay^^
My essay:
All this year in my life tennis was my main sport. The reason to this was by watching Roger Federer's elegance playing style, manner, sportsmanship, and the way he covers his facial expressions and emotions during the match. I learned many lessons by watching Federer's game such as concentration and endurance during our task. Federer does that so well, and I think that's the reason why he won so many matches in his career. But there was one thing that hindered me from becoming a better tennis player. I received the genetics from my father, which was being born as a flat feet. It was a difficult task to overcome the pain, since none of my friends on the tennis team were flat feet; therefore I wasn't a fast runner than anyone else or a better player. I was junior varsity captain during my sophomore year, but due to my flat feet, I couldn't acquire enough confidence to surpass from junior varsity to varsity.
An inspiring figure supported me to overcome the pain of being flat feet. His name was, Park Ji Sung a great South Korean soccer player currently in Manchester United. He's a flat footed soccer player who represents South Korea in the Premier League. As I was surfing through the internet I somehow saw "Park Ji Sung, a great player from Manchester United scored first goal." As I was reading the article, I saw a picture of his ugly and wounds covered feet. I shed in tears by seeing the picture because I was touched for not being alone as a flat feet, and he showed me the path of exceeding my confidence. My two idols gave me strength and endurance to become varsity captain during my junior year. Flat feet are a reliable gift to me.
I require harsh comments to improve my essay^^