Xiaoxing,
I felt that you dedicated too much of this essay about the character Parker Selfridge and not enough about yourself. There are also some irrelevant info. that, if cut, could really help out w/ your word count if you're concern.
In the movie Avatar, Parker Selfridge, portrayed by Giovanni Ribisi, was the "company man" on Pandora, the Chief Administrator for RDA Corporation. He was in charge of all the mining operations on the planet,and determined not to let the native Na'vi stand in his way. Along with Colonel Quaritch, the head of RDA's private security force, Selfridge is depicted as a major villain in the story, responsible for the destruction of the Omaticaya Hometree and the subsequent disastrous war between humans and the Na'vi.
However, Selfridge was not a completely ruthless man. After being warned that children will in the assault of Hometree , he hesitated for a moment , havingand seemed to have a difficult time dealing with his personal morals. Later, he not only appeared to feel remorse upon witnessing the destruction of Hometree (no comma) but also seemed extremely reluctant to have the RDA attack the Tree of Souls.
I found Selfridge fascinating as I realized, that in spite of his selfishness and greediness, he was still a human being who had a sense of morality. He represents the people in our lives who succumb to the power of money over their own moral standards. Selfridge's character led me to one simple question: what kind of person do I want to be? As I began to reevaluate my life and the decisions I made, I also wondered whether I would confront a similar ethical dilemma in the future. I hope that, by going to college, I can develop my ethical reasoning so that I will make moral and just decisions.
In the 2nd para, you wasted word counts by mentioning Selfridge's hesitation twice, which also doesn't contribute much to the overall essay.
The conclusion is really weak, understating your essay.
This essay prompt is really hard. It really appealed to me the first time I read through all the prompts, so I decided to write it. It took me two weeks to figure out what I wanted to say. Thus, I feel like you should expand your essay, making it the longer one instead of being the shorter one.
Good luck!
Critique my essay and help me out in return. Thanks :D
