A common mistake people make is underestimating, for whether it's people, sports, or work. It certainly had huge impact on me when dealing with mathematics. I loved math since forever. I would often find myself thinking about a complicate problem for hours and come out with no answer or too many answers and then laugh at myself for all the time spent. Things changed when I immigrated to America. I lost interest in math, for it became too easy and useless-improving English was more important than doing math. For years, I would not study for math but study for English; though, I still got perfect scores in the class. Due to the underestimating of math, my grade were brought down from 98 percent to an 89 percent Freshman year. This mistake continued to be a problem for me for years. But now I know, I shall never ever underestimate anything.
I have spent over hours now, but I can't really fit everything into 150 words.... Does it really have to be 150 or less?
Anyway, will someone please edit what I have right now. It's exactly 150 words.
And any comment is appreciated. How bad is the essay? What should I delete or add? What should I focus on? etc...
If your prompt was like mine:
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
Then unless you consider underestimating math an activity, you didn't answer the prompt.
I'm pretty sure it has to be under 150 words, not 100% though, but I personally wouldn't risk it.
I would choose a better topic, but if you stick with it, you might consider mentioning a "rebound" after you realized your mistake.
I have heard that you should be yourself and be honest when you write, but also "put your best foot forward", meaning showcase your better qualities. So trying tying in determination, resilience, etc.
how about my grammar? I have always worried about it...
This is my main essay for the Common Application, it's not done. But I have been thinking and writing essays whole day now and I'm a bit sick. So I would like to post what I have now. Please look over and give me any comments, should I even continue and finish this essay. Even if I have to change the whole essay or my writing SUCKS or anything. I don't care, I want the TRUTH.
Thank You in Advance, now I need take some rest...
Prompt: Either put that as my work experience or a topic of my own...
The opportunity to be in charge of a restaurant as a teenager was rare. I learned a lot over the course of the year; though, I only worked part time. There were times I had no clue what to do: workers' conflicts, free riders, disrespects, and accidents. All of these I had never faced before, but were forced to make decisions right in the spot. To this day, I still ponder over what had happened and did I make the right decision. The most unforgettable one was the disrespect from one of the coworkers-sushi chef. When a customer didn't know what kind of sushi he had purchased came up to the register; I didn't know what to charge him for, so I went to ask the chef. But he just ignored me. I got mad that instant, and almost yelled at him, but I didn't. I just charged the customer for the lowest priced sushi and ignored the chef. For the rest of the day, I could not stop thinking about that. After I got off from work at 10, I called my uncle, and asking him for advice. I told him what happened, and he was very kind in giving me advice. He told me under those situations, there were only two options: fire him or pretend it never happened. But I was not satisfied with what he told me. How can I pretend it never happened? And I wouldn't want to fire someone just because he might had a bad day or something. I actually spent hours on the internet looking for a better advice; I found nothing. Then I went on yahoo answers asking for advice, but it would take days to get an answer. I resolved that I should talk to the chef, but was afraid of making things worse. That night, I reflected on why had that happened. I couldn't came up with any reason. So the next day, I asked my cousin, who is real manager of the restaurant, for advice. She told me basically the same thing as my uncle did. Again I was not satisfied, but I gave up or I had to. Days later, I finally got answers from the yahoo answers. My hunch was right, I was suppose to talk to the chef about what caused h
You could potentially spin this so that it is the whole overcoming adversity in a clever and innovative way when in a leadership position. I wouldn't use so many "I..." sentence structures, but at the same time remember to lay off passive and don't use passive to vary sentence structure. I personally think you should just cut out the searching the internet part or minimize it. Ex) Because I was discontented with their advice, I scoured the internet looking for more fair and just advice. It doesn't flow too well right now. Maybe a timeline of sorts would help you plan it better.
Sorry but it's nearing four in the morning so that's all I got.
If you have the time and want to thank me back, could you please look over my two essays too! As long as it's constructive criticism, don't hold back!! Thanks!
Well, word limit is really annoying :( but still have to deal with it!
I think sometimes you can delete words that are used to describe. "I loved math since forever." Just said "I loved math." Readers will understand what you mean and that helps limit words. 150 words essay cannot be as perfect as a long essay, but I think your story is really meaningful!
Thank you very much gongan.
anymore advice from anyone? Please... Anything really lol...
And no one commented on my grammar... Is it perfect?
The short answer needs to talk about an activity. Your essay is trying to provide an excuse for low (well, not really low--low for you) grades, which an essay should not try to do. Think about an extracurricular activity that you like and write about that.
yea I see what you meant, but I was thinking of writing about math club etc... and don't know how it turned into that... Because it had to be less than 150, I must have cut a lot and not throughly explain myself and said too much useless stuff.
immigrated
Nice comments, everyone. This word should be
emigrated .
EF_Stephen
lol, THANK YOU! that word would most likely to be used in any of my essays, since it's a part of my of life experience.
This forum is awsome, I was thinking of making a blog or something to help with my writing in general guess I don't need to now.
