this is my essay for University of Illinois, deadline is january 2nd. I wrote it in 30 minutes, just a rough drouft, a thought, please help me revise. I appreciate.
ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
At age of fifteen, my father became my boss. Every weekend, I would go straight to my dad's office and help him organize the documents, and help my dad with computer issues. As an automotive manufacture that exports products to USA, my dad's company often has American customers. I would be appreciated the opportunities to practice English. As I communicated with the Americans, I learned more and more American culture. I was fascinated by the world on the other side of the globe. Eventually, I decided to start my voyage to USA to pursue a better education.
After a year of studying in the U.S, I went back to my father's company for the summer. This time, I got a job that actually had a title - translator. My duty as translator was to translate some documents, charts and drawing from English to Chinese. Initially, those combinations of alpha and the square characters are seemed in two totally different worlds. I spent endless hours looking up in the dictionary, doing research online, and consulting with other workmates. From every word, there were a battle, a challenge, and a lesson: I recognized "Ammeter" is an instrument that measures the magnitude of an electric current in amperes; learned using "Date logging", a method of recording a process variable over a period of time, to view process performance; and was aware of "Hazard" means the potential for harmful effects. Little by little, this Job not only improved my English dramatically, but also stirred my interests for engineering.
Working at my dad's factor inspired me in two ways: interested in the education in USA and in engineering. Now, having the chance to studying in America, I hope to attend the University of Illinois to develop a solid engineer background; some day, I will bring inspirations back to my dad's company in return.
ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
At age of fifteen, my father became my boss. Every weekend, I would go straight to my dad's office and help him organize the documents, and help my dad with computer issues. As an automotive manufacture that exports products to USA, my dad's company often has American customers. I would be appreciated the opportunities to practice English. As I communicated with the Americans, I learned more and more American culture. I was fascinated by the world on the other side of the globe. Eventually, I decided to start my voyage to USA to pursue a better education.
After a year of studying in the U.S, I went back to my father's company for the summer. This time, I got a job that actually had a title - translator. My duty as translator was to translate some documents, charts and drawing from English to Chinese. Initially, those combinations of alpha and the square characters are seemed in two totally different worlds. I spent endless hours looking up in the dictionary, doing research online, and consulting with other workmates. From every word, there were a battle, a challenge, and a lesson: I recognized "Ammeter" is an instrument that measures the magnitude of an electric current in amperes; learned using "Date logging", a method of recording a process variable over a period of time, to view process performance; and was aware of "Hazard" means the potential for harmful effects. Little by little, this Job not only improved my English dramatically, but also stirred my interests for engineering.
Working at my dad's factor inspired me in two ways: interested in the education in USA and in engineering. Now, having the chance to studying in America, I hope to attend the University of Illinois to develop a solid engineer background; some day, I will bring inspirations back to my dad's company in return.
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